


What Could Have Been

by IsolaVirtuosa



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Timeline, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4916206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsolaVirtuosa/pseuds/IsolaVirtuosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto and Sasuke try to figure things out.<br/>A story about what happens after the war, before Sasuke leaves the village.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            “Stay in your hospital bed,” they told me.

            “You still need to heal,” they said.

            “If you try to go into Sasuke’s room one more time, we will tie you to the bed!” they threatened, smashing holes in the wall.

            Ha.  Like that would stop me.

            I had stayed in my bed quietly for the entire day, lulling the hospital staff into a false sense of security.  Now that it was dark, it was time to make my move.

            I leapt from the bed, going straight out the window.  Sending chakra to my feet, I ran along the wall, counting windows.

            There.

            Grinning victoriously, I moved to go inside.

            It was closed.

            And locked.

            “What is this?!” I cried, frantically pulling at the window frame to no avail.  “Sasukeeeeee!”

            The anbu grabbed me and dragged me back to my room.

            “As per Tsunade-sama’s orders,” one of the nurses said, brandishing chakra cuffs with malice.

            “This is inhumane!” I shouted, flailing around as I tried to avoid being handcuffed to the rail of the bed.

            It didn’t work.

            “Now stay put and go the fuck to sleep!” the nurse growled, stomping out of the room.

            The anbu vanished as well.

            “Make me!” I yelled to the empty room.  Then I deflated like a balloon.  “Sasuke…” I said, feeling the familiar twisting in my gut.

            We’d been in the hospital for a week, but they hadn’t let me see him.

            It scared me.

            As soon as Sakura had patched us up, I’d started healing.  Or rather, Kurama had started healing me.  I went from almost dead to attempting daring hospital escapes in the span of about two days.

            Sasuke didn’t have the kyuubi.

            He was also a missing nin, wanted for the assassination of one of our elders.

            And of course he had shunned the village, saying it wasn’t his home and that there was no reason for him to come back.

            There were so many things that could go wrong, and I just needed to see him.  I needed to make sure that he was still here, that he was okay, that he wasn’t in a jail cell or being tortured or freaking running away again.

            Even after everything that had happened at the Valley of the End, I just couldn’t accept that he was really here.

            I had to see him.

            “Idiot.”

            “SA-” I started to yell, only to find a hand clamped over my mouth.  I tried to glare at him, but the tears welling up in the corners of my eyes probably ruined the effect.

            “Do you want to get caught?” he growled at me.

            I shook my head vigorously.

            “Moron,” he muttered, taking his hand away from my mouth.

            “Sasuke,” I whispered as enthusiastically as I could without being loud, straining against the chakra cuff that held me to the bed.  My stump of an arm flapped in Sasuke’s direction, reaching for him.

            Sasuke stared at me.

            “Sasukeeeee,” I whined.

            “Stop saying my name like that.”

            “Then undo this stupid cuff!”

            “Why should I?”

            “Why wouldn’t you?”

            “I just came here to tell you to stop trying to break into my room.  So…”

            “Sasuke,” I said, but this time it was low and threatening.

            “Yes, Naruto?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head to the side and looking amused.

            “Undo the cuff,” I said, letting Kurama growl through my voice.

            Sasuke stared at me, still looking amused.

            Damn smug bastard.  I wanted to smash that look right off of his face with my fist.

            I was surprised when he reached out and touched the cuff, chakra flowing into the lock mechanism and opening it with a sudden _click_.

            “Oh,” I said.  I sat up, rotating my wrist to get the blood flowing properly again.

            “You’re welcome,” Sasuke said snidely.

            “Thanks,” I replied quietly.

            Sasuke hesitated.

            “Sit?” I asked.  I tried to pat the bed with my right arm, only to realize yet again that it wasn’t there.

            Sasuke looked at me for a long moment, something flashing through his eyes that I couldn’t understand.

            I wasn’t about to repeat my request, which had sounded like a pathetic plea even to my own ears.  Thankfully, Sasuke finally sat down.  His body sank heavily into the mattress, and I realized how tired he looked.

            “You’re okay?” I asked, feeling the emotions clawing their way up my throat.

            “Yeah,” he said, not looking at me.

            “They’re not… everyone’s treating you okay?”

            “Yeah.”

            “You’re… you’re staying?”

            “I… for now…”

            I chewed on my bottom lip.  That answer didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.

            “Naruto.”

            I felt a nudge from Sasuke’s stub and turned to glare at him.

            His eyes didn’t meet mine.  “I said everything that needed to be said at the Valley of the End.  If you still have doubts, if you still don’t get it, then you’re even stupider than I thought.”

            “Stop calling me stupid!” I snapped, yanking him forward by his hospital gown so that his face was right in front of mine and he couldn’t avoid my eyes.

            A flash of anger passed through Sasuke.  He reached out and yanked my head back by the hair.  “What else can I call someone as ignorant as you?”

            “You’re the ignorant one!” I raged.

            Sasuke tightened his grip on my hair.  “Stupid,” he hissed with his sad eyes.

            “Bastard,” I growled, trying to hold the tears back.

            We kissed.

            I don’t know why.  I’m not even really sure how it was initiated.  One second we were fighting, the next our mouths were moving against each other’s.

            The whole time I was thinking, ‘what the hell am I doing?’  Then I started wondering, ‘what the hell is Sasuke doing?’  But the part of my brain that was controlling my actual body was just thinking, ‘want need touch kiss devour mine…’

            I didn’t understand it, but I needed it.

            Apparently Sasuke needed it, too, if the way he was kissing me back was any indication.  His fingers were buried in my hair, his tugs bordering on painful.  His lips moves against my hurriedly, bruising and hot.

            I reached for him with my right arm, aching to pull him closer.  These closed mouth kisses weren’t enough, and I wanted to feel every inch of his body, to make sure it was real.  Coherent thought had long since flown out the window.  I couldn’t reach him, which frustrated me.  I growled into his mouth, stretching my arm out anxiously towards him, only to realize that I didn’t have an arm and that I was losing balance.

            Sasuke got yanked into the mattress with me from the hand still clutching his gown.  Our heads collided, foreheads bruising one another.

            “What are you doing?” Sasuke hissed, trying to sound annoyed but mostly sounding breathy (‘and sexy,’ my addled mind added).

            “I forgot I didn’t have an arm,” I supplied.  “Again.”

            Sasuke looked at me for a long while, his cheeks flushed.  I could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest against mine from where he was splayed on top of me.  “I am so embarrassed for you,” he finally said, letting go of my hair and moving like he was about to get off of me.

            I struggled to get my one remaining arm out from between us, throwing it around him and clinging tightly.

            Sasuke seemed frozen for a moment.

            I hugged him insistently.

            Sasuke hesitated, then shifted so that we were lying side-by-side.  “I have to go soon,” he said softly.

            Sasuke saying that he was leaving seemed to tap into some irrational part of my brain that made me hold onto him even tighter, my eyes flashing red as I ground out a threatening, “never.”

            Sasuke made a noise that sounded like a laugh, but the regret in his eyes seemed to contradict it.  “I have to go back to my room eventually, Naruto.”

            “Oh,” I said, eyes fading back to blue.  I tried to play it off, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

            Sasuke’s lips pressed against mine again.

            I felt relief.

            This time was slow.  Sasuke set the pace, and I didn’t mind following him.  It made me feel warm inside to know that Sasuke wanted this, whatever it was.

            But slowly the warmth in my belly started to burn brighter and brighter with a need to consume.

            When Sasuke’s lips parted to take a breath, I pushed my tongue in.  I had no idea what I was doing, but I _wanted_ and I _needed_ , my instincts taking over.

            Sasuke tensed, stilling beside me.

           _Slowly, slowly_ , I tried to remind myself.  I moved my tongue experimentally, gently swiping against Sasuke’s.

            The noise he made sounded almost scared, and his hand that had been resting against my arm suddenly dug in, fingertips clawing painfully into my bicep.

            My eyes slid open as we separated.

            “Sorry,” I said quietly, wondering if I had ruined everything.  I felt dumb and inexperienced, and I still wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling and why we were doing this.

            “It’s fine,” Sasuke said roughly, but even in the dark I could see the redness in his cheeks.  “I-I…” he stammered, then got even redder.

            I felt my confidence trickling back.  Sasuke didn’t know what he was doing, either.  I’d never seen him so hesitant.  The realization filled me with the sadistic delight that one can only feel over the misfortunes of their best friend/rival.  Sasuke was _shy_.

            “What are you grinning at?” he asked, looking annoyed but still embarrassed.

            “You,” I said, touching his warm cheek.

            Sasuke smacked my hand away with a glare.

            I kissed him, and Sasuke kissed me back, and that was enough for now.

            “I have to go,” he finally said, pulling back forcefully and sitting up.  “To my room,” he added quickly.

            I smiled and nodded, but I realized I was holding his hand and not letting go even after he’d stood up.

            “Naruto.”

            I let go with a nervous laugh.  God, what was I doing?  Now that there was distance between us, I suddenly felt so awkward.

            Sasuke went over to the window, and Sai popped into view.

            I jumped with a shriek.

            Sasuke turned around and gave me a withering stare.

            “Finished?” Sai asked, eyeing Sasuke coolly.

            Sasuke nodded.  He leapt onto the windowsill, then they both disappeared from sight.

            I lay back down, feeling weirdly content but confused.

            “What is going on here?!” one of the nurses demanded, stomping into the room.

            “Uh… nothing?” I said.

            “How did you get out of that cuff?!”

            “Uhhhh…”

            I found myself once again cuffed to the bed, but sleep came more easily than I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

            It took another week before I was deemed fit to leave the hospital.  It was a long week.  A long, long week.

            I felt fine, anxious to get out into Konoha and start helping people.  Tsunade and Sakura both came to check on me daily, telling me in their own colorful and violent way that that wasn’t going to happen.

            “You two aren’t looking so hot, either,” I muttered.

            That got me some more violence and yelling.

            “It’s your job to rest and heal completely,” Tsunade said, after smacking me upside the head had calmed her nerves.  I caught the hesitant glance she cast towards where my arm used to be.

            “I’m healed already,” I complained.  “You two are the ones draining your chakra to help people every day, while I just sit in this stupid room doing nothing.”

            “Did you finish your mission report on the war then?” Tsunade asked with a knowing look.

            “Well… uh… you see…”

            “Naruto…” Sakura said in exasperation.

            “Your report will be indispensable for Sasuke’s meeting with the Elders,” Tsunade said.

            I chewed on my bottom lip.  I knew that, and that was part of what made writing it so difficult.

            Sakura touched my shoulder, clearly reading my thoughts without me having to say anything.

            “Finish your report, brat,” Tsunade said, ready to take her leave.  “And do your damn physical therapy without complaining.  Then we’ll talk about discharging you.”

            I sighed loudly.

            Both women made threatening gestures with their fists, so I held up my hands in surrender.

            I wrote the report.  It was hard.  Writing about Gai-sensei was hard.  Writing about Neji was hard.  But writing about Sasuke was the hardest.  I just tried to be honest, while strongly emphasizing how important his help had been, and how having his arm blown off had reformed him into a loyal, earnest Konoha ninja.  No, okay, they would know I was lying about that.  I erased that bit, settling on him having his arm blown off making him a non-threat to the village.

            Sasuke Uchiha, Non-Threat.  That’s what I subtitled the ten page attachment I added to the report that detailed why Sasuke was my best friend and I trusted him with my life.

            “Nobody wants to read your love letter to Uchiha,” Tsunade muttered as she skimmed through the report.

            “W-what?” I said, laughing nervously.  “That would be so gay, ah ha ha…”

            Tsunade gave me a very funny look and gathered up the report.  “I’ll deliver this to the Council after Shikamaru… goes over it.”

            “I think the spelling and grammar mistakes make it more authentic,” I protested.

            Tsunade shook her head.

            “Soooo…” I said.  “When can I see Sasuke?”

            “After your little midnight visit stunt?  Maybe next year.”

            “Baaaaaaa-chaaaaaaan,” I whined.  Then I wondered how she knew about me and Sasuke meeting.  Then I wondered how much she knew about me and Sasuke meeting.  I paled.

            “The Elders don’t want you two together until the meeting,” Tsunade said.  “Uchiha is still being considered a missing nin.”

            She kept calling it a ‘meeting’, but we all knew what it really was.  It was a trial, and Sasuke’s life was hanging in the balance.

            Tsunade read the worry on my face.  “The report will help,” she said gently.

            I nodded, trying not to feel depressed.

            I was finally able to leave the hospital after that, though I still had to go in for physical therapy every day.  I also wasn’t allowed to take on any mission that wasn’t D-rank, so I spent my first week out of the hospital helping to clean up the damage to Konoha, and plotting ways to break into Sasuke’s hospital room.

            I kept getting thwarted by the anbu.

            “Naruto-kun, this is getting embarrassing,” Sai told me with a cheerful smile as he tied me to a tree outside of the hospital.

            “Then stop doing it!”

            “I meant for you,” Sai explained.  “Thinking about how another person feels is an important part of friendship.  You must feel really embarrassed and stupid right now.”

            “How was I supposed to know that you would booby trap the ventilation shafts?!”

            “A good ninja is always prepared for anything.”

            “Saaaaai, just let me see him.”

            “I can’t do that.”

            “You helped Sasuke come see me, didn’t you?”

            “Did I?”

            “Saaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiii.”

            “Just wait, Naruto-kun,” Sai said, giving me a smile that was supposed to be comforting but was just really awkward and a bit creepy.  “The meeting is next week.  Then you can see him all you like.”

            “What if they sentence him to death?!” I cried, then thought about what I had just said and completely deflated.

            “I don’t think that’s very likely,” Sai reasoned.  “Maybe life imprisonment…”

            “That’s very comforting,” I muttered.

            “I’m glad,” Sai said, beaming.

            I spent my days and nights feeling depressed.  We’d saved the world, and that was awesome, but dealing with all the death and destruction that had resulted from it was slightly less awesome.

            I worried about Sasuke.

            Then I remembered that we had made out in my hospital bed, and that worried me even more.

            Then I thought about how people’s homes had been destroyed, families torn apart, bodies crippled, and my foray into slightly gay territory with my best friend/rival seemed less important.

            Whatever, it was Sasuke.  Our relationship had always been complex.  This was just another dimension of that.  If we wanted to make out sometimes, then we wanted to make out sometimes.

            And to think, Sasuke could be so shy and cute.

            I hugged my pillow dreamily as I drifted off to sleep.

            “Did you always have such a dumb face?”

            I woke up with a start, my body sluggish.  I fumbled for the kunai under my pillow, eyes blinking blearily.

            “You know, if I was here to kill you, you’d already be dead.”

            I stared into familiar black eyes, pointing a dirty chopstick at his throat.

            Sasuke raised an eyebrow at me.

            “You don’t register as a threat,” I said, yawning and tossing the chopstick to the floor.  “Where is that kunai, anyway…?”

            “You’re too trusting.”

            “Aw, are you worried about me?” I asked, triumphantly holding up the kunai that had slipped between the headboard and the mattress.

            “No,” Sasuke said sullenly, standing up and towering over me.

            “So is there a reason you broke into my apartment?” I asked, putting the kunai back in the sheath under my pillow.

            “Because I can.”

            “Don’t you have anbu tailing you or something?”

            “No.”

            I scratched my nose.  “Really?”

            “Really.”

            “But every time I tried to see you at the hospital…”

            “I guess I’m just better than you.”

            “Ha,” I scoffed.  “We all know that isn’t true.”

            Sasuke smirked at me.

            “Bastaaaard!” I raged.

            “I’m free.”

            I had been working myself up into fighting mode, but Sasuke’s statement just left me confused.  “Huh?”

            “Due to the hokage’s recommendation and the support of the great war hero,” at that he rolled his eyes, “Uzumaki Naruto, I have been declassified as a missing nin.”

            “Huuuuh?”

            “Should I speak slower?  Use smaller words?  I’m not really sure how to explain it any more clearly.”

            “But the meeting… and the Elders…”

            Sasuke was looking at me like I was an idiot.

            “You have to go to the meeting,” I said, feeling more confident.

            “The meeting was today.  Well, technically yesterday.”

            I went into momentary shock.  When I came out of it, I was pissed.  “Nobody told me that!”

            “That was on purpose, you realize.”

            “What what what, wait, hold on,” I said.  “Why would they exclude the future hokage from this very important meeting?!”

            “Because no one wanted you to enact your ten page love letter to me in person?”

            “It wasn’t a love letter!  Why does everyone keep calling it that?!”

            Sasuke was smiling.

            Without thinking, I jumped up and wrapped him in a hug.

            Sasuke hesitated, then hugged me back.

            “This is real?” I murmured into his neck.  “They’re not gonna throw you in prison or…?”

            “I’m on probation.”

            “Oh…”

            “I have to stay in the village until my probation is over.”

            “Oh?!”

            “But I don’t have anywhere to live.”

            “Oh…”

            “What are you doing…?”

            “Nothing.”

            “You are sniffing me, you weirdo.”

            “I’m not.”

            Sasuke pushed me away from his neck.

            I had totally been sniffing him, but I wasn’t about to admit it.  Dammit, he smelled good.  He smelled like fights and blood and electricity and power and some kind of froofy strawberry shampoo.  He smelled like _Sasuke_.

            “Stare much?” I asked, trying to look defiant.

            “Were you even listening to what I was just saying?”

            “Yes.”

            “Okay.”

            We both continued to stare at each other.

            “Well?” Sasuke said.

            “Well what?”

            “Never mind,” he said in that bitchy Sasuke way that meant he minded quite a bit.

            “Fine,” I said.  “I’m going back to bed.  What time is it even?”

            “Time to get a clue,” Sasuke muttered, moving to the window in a flash.

            “Two a.m., you came waltzing in here at two o’clock in the freaking morning?” I marveled as I read the clock on my nightstand.

            “I’ll be sure to never bother you again,” Sasuke said snidely.

            “Quit being a drama queen,” I said.  “You can sleep on my couch if you need a place to crash.”

            And Sasuke thought I wasn’t listening.

            The flustered look on his face pleased me to no end.

            “Who would want to sleep on your dirty couch?” he finally ground out, trying to hold onto his pride.

            “It’s not dirty!” I snapped.

            Sasuke moved away from the window, much to my relief, then proceeded to go out the bedroom door.

            “Where ya going?” I asked, following him.

            He flipped on the living room light, then pointed an accusing finger at the couch.  “Not dirty?”

            I shrugged.  “Yeah.”

            He reached down and pulled a moldy ramen container from out of the cushions.  He looked so repulsed that I had to laugh.

            “This isn’t funny,” Sasuke said gravely, going into the kitchen.  “Jesus.”

            “What?” I asked, following behind him.

            “You are disgusting,” he said, throwing the ramen cup into the trash.  He bent down, digging through the cupboard and pulling out a pair of gloves.  He took the right one for himself and threw the left-handed one at me.

            “What are you doing, it’s the middle of the night?!” I cried incredulously.

            “I am not sleeping on that dirty couch.”

            “Then go sleep on the streets!”

            Sasuke moved towards the door.

            “No, no, jeez, Sas’,” I protested, grabbing his arm.

            He looked at me over his shoulder and I actually felt my dick get a little hard.

            Shit, what was this?!

            Sasuke looked away, taking his arm back.  “Go clean all those dishes in the sink.”

            “Uh, yeah, okay,” I said, turning around abruptly and walking back to the kitchen.

            So we cleaned my apartment for an hour, then I put some fresh sheets and blankets on the couch.

            “Anything else, your highness?” I asked as Sasuke lay on the couch.

            “Go to bed, Naruto,” Sasuke said dismissively.

            I paused in the doorway, turning back to look at him one more time.  “Good night.”

            There was silence, and then he said, “Good night.”

            I crawled into bed feeling confused but happy.


	3. Chapter 3

            Apparently everyone had been at Sasuke’s meeting with the Elders, except for me.  I got all my info from Sakura, since Sasuke didn’t say a thing about it over our instant ramen breakfast that morning.

            “You couldn’t have come and gotten me?” I complained.

            Sakura paused in her examination of my arm.  “Tsunade’s orders.”

            “So you chose Tsunade over me?!”

            “She _is_ my teacher,” Sakura said, sending a pulse of chakra into my arm.  “And I agree with her.  It was better that you weren’t there.”

            “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            “It means you get too emotional when it comes to Sasuke.”

            “Ha.  Ha ha.  _I_ get too emotional when it comes to Sasuke.  Oh, man, that is hilarious.  Sakura-chan, do you write your own material?!”

            “If you had been there, you would have gone nine-tails every time someone said something bad about Sasuke,” Sakura said, pulling my arm harder than necessary.  “I just settled for punching holes into the floor.”

            I snorted.  “That’s my girl.”

            Sakura grinned at me.  “Anyway, it’s done.  You did it, Naruto, you brought Sasuke back to the village.”

            I felt giddy all of the sudden, tackling Sakura into a hug.

            Sakura laughed, hugging me back tightly.

            I wished I had another arm to complete the hug with.

            “Thank you,” Sakura whispered, her voice cracking.

            “Shit, Sakura-chan, don’t cry,” I said, tears already welling up in my own eyes.

            “I’m not,” Sakura said.

            I pretended that I didn’t notice the warm wetness on my shoulder.

            We held each other for a while, then Sakura pulled away, rubbing at her eyes.  “Let’s do your therapy.”

            I nodded, sniffing loudly.

            Sakura punched me in the arm in a way that was probably meant to be playful, but hurt like a bitch.

            After therapy, I had a D-rank mission with Konohamaru’s team.  We were to help clean up one of the newly rebuilt apartment complexes that had been destroyed in Nagato’s attack.

            After all the cleaning last night, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.  Seeing all the people there, though, working together to get everything ready and seeming so hopeful even after they’d lost their homes, got me more in the mood for rubber gloves and bleach.

            I was tired when I got home, deciding that it was definitely an instant ramen kind of night.  I kicked off my shoes and flipped on the light, coming into the living room.

            Sasuke’s sheets and blankets were neatly folded on the couch.  He’d left when I’d left in the morning, yet for some reason I’d almost expected him to be waiting for me when I got back.

            I was… disappointed?

            I put some water on the stove to boil, then stripped out of my sweaty clothes and threw on a reasonably clean t-shirt over my boxers.

            “Instant ramen again?”

            I almost jumped out of my skin.

            Sasuke smirked at me from the open window.

            “Why don’t you just come to the door like a normal human being?!” I demanded, feeling stupid for not noticing his approach.

            “Just testing the defenses of the future hokage,” Sasuke said, and god did he make that last word sound so sarcastic.

            “Yeah, whatever, just get in here already.”

            Sasuke looked surprised.

            I went back to the kitchen with two cups of instant ramen.

            “I’m not eating that crap again,” Sasuke said as he followed me.

            “Who says it’s for you?  Maybe they’re both for me.”

            Sasuke didn’t say anything, instead looking for a dishcloth so he could wipe off the table.

            I filled both cups with boiling water, then closed the tops again and left them to sit.  “What’d you do all day?” I asked, leaning against the counter.

            Sasuke finished cleaning the table and moved on to the sink.  “Are we up to the discussing-monotonous-details-of-our-day stage in this relationship?”

            “Well, would you rather talk about the meeting you had with the Elders that you haven’t said a damn word about?”

            “My day was fine, I worked on my house.”

            “You have a _house_?!”

            Sasuke shrugged.

            “You said you were homeless!” I accused him.

            “I didn’t use that word,” Sasuke said, smacking my finger out of his face.  “And it’s not livable.  It’s been abandoned for years, and there’s some damage from vandals and attacks on the village.”

            “Oh,” I said.  “So you’re fixing it up?”

            “Yeah.”

            “You shoulda told me sooner, I could help you.”

            “No thanks.”

            “What?  What do you mean, ‘no thanks’?!”

            “Should I buy you a dictionary?  You seem to have trouble grasping the meaning of a lot of words.”

            “Jerk,” I said, but I wasn’t too mad.  To be honest, I liked fighting with Sasuke.  It felt good.  It felt familiar.

            “Moron,” Sasuke replied, but there was no anger in his voice, either.  It almost sounded… affectionate?

            I took the cups from the counter and put them on the table, one in front of each chair.  I sat down and started slurping mine up.

            Sasuke eyed me.

            I just continued to eat, and finally he sat down and started to eat his, too.

            “I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow,” Sasuke said between bites.

            “Be my guest.”

            “And then I’m going to throw away all of your ramen.”

            “Bastard, don’t you dare.”

            Sasuke shrugged in his aristocratic way.

            “You’re a shitty houseguest, you know.”

            “Because I cleaned your house and want to buy you actual food?”

            “Yep.”

            Sasuke kicked me under the table.

            I glared and kicked him back.

            “You’re making a mess,” he commented, gesturing towards the spilled soup surrounding my cup.

            “I’m not left-handed!” I snapped, waving my chopsticks in the air.  “Do you know how freaking hard it is to eat with your left hand?”

            Sasuke turned and stared at his stumpy left arm, then turned back to me and gave me a long, meaningful stare.

            “Yeah, yeah, lucky for you, you got to keep your dominant arm.”

            “So lucky,” Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.

            I resumed eating, trying to eat neatly to prove to him how awesome I was.  I was still making a mess.

            “Your couch sucks.”

            “Are you just gonna complain about everything?”

            “I was just stating a fact.  My neck was all stiff this morning.”

            “Oh, I’m so sorry, your highness.  Did you want to sleep in my bed?”

            The words hadn’t even completely left my mouth when we both started turning red.

          Sasuke recovered the quickest.  “Sakura said she has an extra futon.  She’s bringing it over sometime tonight.”

            “Oh, great,” I said nervously.  “Good ol’ Sakura-chan, huh?”

            “Moron.”

            “We haven’t talked about it, though…”

            “Talked about what?” Sasuke ground out, his cheeks getting red again.

            “You know,” I said, his shyness making me more confident.  “A dark hospital room, two ninjas, swapping spit.”

           “Just forget about it,” Sasuke said, picking up his empty cup along with mine and taking them to the trashcan.

            “Oh, yeah, okay,” I said.  “I’ll just forget about it.  I’m sure it will never happen again.”

            “It won’t!” Sasuke said sharply.

            “Ha, like you could keep your hands off of me,” I scoffed, trying to keep my confidence up.

            “I’m leaving.”

            “Is that gonna be your new threat every time you’re losing an argument?” I asked, eyes flashing with anger.  “Because it’s getting old already.”

            Sasuke looked sad.

            “Look, I didn’t…  You know what my worst fear is, so stop using it against me,” I said, completely at his mercy now.

            “I thought you understood me at the Valley of the End,” Sasuke said, wrapping his arm around himself and looking awkward.

            “I… yeah, of course,” I said, my mind taking me back to that day.  We had said so many things to one another, before we fought, during the fight, and especially afterwards, as we lay dying together.  Sasuke had opened up his heart to me, speaking to me in a way that he never had before.  The intimacy of those hours had brought us closer than ever.

            “If you understood me, then you would know that I won’t leave you.  Even if I leave Konoha, no matter where I am in the world, I won’t leave you.  If you call for me, I’ll come.  Were you even listening to me that day?  The things I said to you… and you still have doubts?  You know how I feel about you.  You know that I… you know, so stop acting stupid.”

            “I’m not stupid,” I muttered sullenly, pushing away from the table.  “I just… I can’t help but be scared, okay?  I told you a lot of shit, too.  You know what you mean to me.  You, being here right now, it’s everything to me, and I’m kinda finding it hard to believe that it’s real.”

            “Maybe we’re trapped in the Infinite Tsukuyomi,” Sasuke said, trying to smile.

            “Don’t say that,” I said, smacking him in the arm.

            When had we gotten so close?

            Sasuke’s eyes were staring into mine provocatively, daring me to do it.

            I touched his cheek, drawing him into me as I leaned forward.

            Sasuke’s fingers bunched into my t-shirt, yanking me the rest of the way to him.

            It was a relief to kiss him.

            The kitchen was quiet except for the soft movement of lips.  I felt calm and relaxed, like we could do this forever, and that would be just fine.

            But Sasuke pulled away with a long inhale.

            “Do you understand now?” he asked quietly.

            “I think so,” I said, not really sure of anything.

            “I want to stay here with you,” he continued.  “For a while.  Until my probation is over.  Is that… okay?”

            I nodded my head frantically.  “Stay here, yes.  Stay forever if you want.”

            “We’d kill each other,” Sasuke said, but he was smiling and it was cute.

            I pushed him up onto the counter, forcing his legs apart so I could press up against him as I kissed him.

            Sasuke tensed, lips unmoving against my invasion.

            It took me a moment to notice, pulling back and looking into his eyes questioningly.

            “You’re like a wild animal,” he said, giving me a disdainful look despite the flush to his cheeks.

            “I’m part fox,” I informed him.

            “Hn.”

            He kept looking down on me, and I shifted nervously.  “Do you not… like it?” I finally asked, feeling vulnerable.

            Sasuke hesitated.

            I deflated, taking a step away, but Sasuke pulled me back to him.

            “This is… new,” he finally said.

            I waited for him to go on, but he seemed stuck.

            “It’s new for me, too,” I offered, trying to get the ball rolling.

            Sasuke’s fingers had turned white from gripping my shirt so tightly.

            I thought we might just continue staring at each other for the rest of eternity without saying anything, when there was a loud knock at the door.

            Sasuke let go of me immediately, looking to the side.

            “Uh, I’ll go get that,” I said, moving off towards the door.

            “Took you long enough,” Sakura complained as I opened the door.  “This thing is heavy,” she added, hefting the futon into my arm.

            “Oh,” I said, wobbling from side to side before dropping the futon to the floor.

            Sakura let out an exasperated sigh and picked it up, carrying it inside.

            Sasuke was coming out of the kitchen.  “Oh,” he said.

            “Hi, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura said, putting on that awful fake voice she only used with Sasuke.  “I brought the futon.”

            “I appreciate it,” Sasuke said, trying to look cool, but to my eyes looking awkward as all get out.

            “When are you two going to start acting normal?” I complained.

            They both turned to glare daggers at me.

            “I’m just sayin’.”

            “We’re acting perfectly normal,” Sakura said through bared teeth.  “Where are you going to be sleeping, Sasuke-kun?”

            Sasuke shrugged and gestured towards the floor in front of the couch.

            “You can sleep in my room,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

            “No thanks,” Sasuke said quickly.

            “It’s warmer in there.”

            “It’s fine out here.”

            “Okay then.”

            “Are you two getting along okay?” Sakura asked, eyes darting between us.

            “Same as usual,” I said.

            “That’s a pretty apt description,” Sasuke agreed.

            “Should I be worried?”

            “No,” I said, at the same time as Sasuke said, “probably.”

            Sakura smiled a little more naturally at that.  “Okay, well I’ll leave you two boys to your slumber party.”

            “It’s not a slumber party!” I protested, flailing in Sakura’s general direction as she let herself out.

            Sasuke kneeled on the floor, unfolding the futon and putting the sheets and blankets on it.

            “You’re really okay with sleeping on the floor?” I asked.

            “Only wimps sleep on beds.”

            “Jerk,” I said, nudging his back with my foot.

            Sasuke turned around, and I almost lost my balance.  “Thank you for letting me stay.”

            “Don’t thank me, it’s creepy,” I said, looking away.

            “Then I won’t.”

            “Good.”

            It was suddenly quiet.

            “Uh, wanna watch a movie or something?” I said, because I hated quiet, and I needed to fill the apartment with noise.

            “A movie?” Sasuke asked, wrinkling his nose with disdain.

            “Yes, a movie,” I said.  “A series of moving pictures that you watch on the TV.  Perhaps you can look it up in that dictionary you wanted to buy me.”

            Sasuke snorted.  “Yeah, fine.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah.”

            I grinned, going to my bedroom to drag the TV into the living room.

            Sasuke was waiting on the couch.

            “I think I’ve got some popcorn in the cupboards,” I said, plugging in the TV and then moseying to the kitchen.  When I turned to look back at Sasuke, I caught him smiling at me.

            I smiled back.

            After I got the popcorn popping, I joined Sasuke on the couch and started the movie.

            It turned out to be an awful sci-fi movie.

            “Why do you even own this?” Sasuke muttered.

            “I think it’s Kiba’s…”

            Sasuke rolled his eyes and ate his popcorn, occasionally making sarcastic comments about the movie.  I wondered if it was my imagination, or did he keep leaning closer and closer to me?

            I rested my hand on his knee, and he didn’t even say anything.

            “Gimme some popcorn,” I said, and he obediently pushed some in my mouth.

            Somehow, by the end of the movie, there was no question about whether we were touching or not.  Sasuke’s back was to my chest, and his arm was draped lazily over my leg like it was an armrest.  I had my arm looped around his waist and my chin resting on his shoulder.  The popcorn bowl was easily accessible in Sasuke’s lap.

            It was the most comfortable I’d felt in a long time.  Maybe ever.

            “That was a terrible movie,” Sasuke said, unmoving.

            “Yep,” I agreed, also unmoving.

            We sat like that for a long time.

            Sasuke was the first to finally move, suddenly declaring, “you stink, go take a bath.”

            I whined at the loss of his warmth, then held up my armpit and sniffed.  “I don’t smell…”

            Sasuke just glared at me.

            “Are you gonna take a bath, too?” I asked.

            Sasuke nodded.

            “Okay, I’ll leave the tub filled for you, and I’ll get you a towel and stuff when I get out.”

            Sasuke nodded again.

            I went into the bathroom with a little spring in my step.  I didn’t know what was going on with me and Sasuke, but I liked it.  And it was really nice living with someone.

            I could get used to this.


	4. Chapter 4

            “What are you doing?!” Sasuke demanded, aghast.

            “Cutting this carrot like you told me to.”

            “That’s not how you cut it!”

            “What do you mean, it’s not how you cut it?  Who says there’s a right way and a wrong way?  If I cut it, and it’s cut, then that’s the right way, isn’t it?”

            “Get out.  Just get out of here.”

            “It’s my kitchen…”

            “Get out!”

            I sighed loudly, stuffing my hand in my pocket and slinking over to the living room.  I sprawled out on the couch and stared pointedly at Sasuke.

            Sasuke ignored me and started cutting a new carrot, mumbling something under his breath.

            Sasuke had basically become my housewife in the last couple of weeks, cooking all the meals and constantly cleaning everything.  I tried to help, but my efforts were rarely appreciated.

            “Sasuuuukeeeee, can I come back now?”

            “No.”

            “It’s not my dominant hand, ya know, so maybe I chop stuff a little funny…”

            “I told you to dice them, not cut them in uneven-sized chunks.  And you didn’t even peel them.  I specifically told you to fucking peel them.”

            “I was gonna peel them after…”

            “Who peels them after?!  What is wrong with you?!”

            “Jeez, take a chill pill already.”

            “Stay on the couch!”

            “Sasukeeeee…”

            “And shut up.  God, can’t it be quiet in here for like 2 seconds?”

            “But I wanna talk to you.”

            “All you do all morning and all goddamn night is talk to me, don’t you get tired of it?!”

            “No.”

            “Oh.”

            “You’re blushing.”

            “Who the fuck is blushing?!”

            “You.”

            “This is rage, this is the red of rage at having to listen to your inane ramblings!”

            “It’s really cute.  Can I come over there now?”

            “No.  Never.  Never come over here again.”

            “You should have a cooking show,” I said, deciding a change of subject was in order.  “Ninja Cooking with Sasuke.  I bet you could be famous for your original one-armed cooking techniques.  You could help a lot of one-armed ninjas out there.”

            “I couldn’t help you.”

            “I think the carrots look fine.”

            “Do you even know what ‘dice’ means?  It means to chop into small pieces, you idiot.”

            “Then cut my pieces smaller!”

            “You didn’t peel them!”

            “I was gonna peel them after!”

            “You are hopeless.”

            “Can I come back to the kitchen now?”

            I could tell Sasuke was seething by the ferocity with which he was dicing the carrots.

            I sighed loudly and started taking off my weapons, grabbing a cloth to polish anything that was shiny.

            Sasuke seemed to get in a better mood.

            I finished polishing my weapons and put them away.  I eyed Sasuke carefully.

            Everything in the kitchen seemed to be under control, and he was just washing up some of the things he didn’t need anymore.

            I made my approach slow, so he could yell at me and send me off if he really wanted to.

            Sasuke continued washing the dishes without a word.

            I slid my arm around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder.

            “I’m busy,” Sasuke said, but he leaned into me.

            One thing I’d learned about Sasuke in the last couple of weeks, besides the fact that he was an obsessive compulsive control freak and besides the fact that he was a moody bitch… well, who am I kidding I knew both of those things before, but anyway, what I’d actually learned was that Uchiha Sasuke was ridiculously affectionate.

            Well, okay, there was a little frigidness and violence mixed in with the affection.  But whereas I once thought Sasuke shunned all physical contact, I’d come to find that he liked touching and being touched, as long as it was done his way.

            I think he was as affection-starved as I was.

            “Sasukeeee, tell me about your day,” I murmured, nuzzling his cheek with my nose.

            “No.”

            “You’re the worst housewife ever.”

            “Who the fuck is a housewife?” Sasuke snarled, making no move to push me away.  “And also, I am good at everything I do.”

            “So you admit to being good at being a housewife?”

            “Tch.”

            I grinned.

            “Check the pot on the stove.”

            “How do I check it?” I asked, pulling away and peering at the pot.

            “If it’s boiling, turn the heat down a little.”

            “Oh, it’s like making ramen,” I said agreeably.  It was in fact boiling, so I turned the heat down.  “See, I can do it.”

            “Wow, Nar’, you can boil things,” Sasuke muttered.  “Maybe someone will give you an award for that.”

            “I hope so,” I agreed.

            Sasuke shook his head, hanging up the dishtowel.

            “Can we make out now?” I asked hopefully.  It had been a long day of rebuilding Konoha, and I deserved a little reward for all my hard work.

            “I’m cooking,” Sasuke said, giving me an annoyed look and moving to the stove.

            I really wanted to grab his butt.  That would only end in pain, but it didn’t lessen the desire.

            I found my brain suddenly filled with sexual thoughts.  I’d never understood it, all those years travelling with Ero-Sennin.  What was so great about sex?  It mostly just looked gross.

            Now I loved gross things.  Sasuke’s spit in my mouth?  Awesome.  Soaked sheets from having wet dreams about Sasuke all night?  Fantastic.  Bring on the gross.

            Sasuke wasn’t so agreeable to it all.

            “Don’t you fucking dare.”

            “What?” I whined.  He wasn’t even looking at me, so how could he possibly know that I’d been about to spank him?

            “Go sit down at the goddamn table,” Sasuke ordered.  “You’re like a child…”

            I sat down and sulked.

            Sasuke finished cooking and started serving the food.

            I waited quietly.

            After the last dish had been set on the table, Sasuke reached out and patted me on the head like a dog.

            It thrilled me.

            “Let’s eat,” he said, moving to sit across from me.

            I started chowing down while happily telling Sasuke about my day with my mouth full.

            Sasuke chewed his food, swallowed, then made sarcastic comments.

            After dinner, I got the bath ready.

            Sasuke read a book while I washed up.

            “Bath’s all yours,” I told him, coming out in my towel with my muscles all wet and glistening.

            “Thanks,” Sasuke said, not so much as giving me a onceover.

            I trudged over to my room to get dressed.

            Sasuke came out of the bath in his towel with his muscles all wet and glistening, and I had to wipe at the corner of my mouth due to the moisture accumulating there.

            “Give me something to wear.”

            I drooled a little more.

            “Well?”

            “Huh?” I said.

            “Give me something to wear,” Sasuke said, giving me an irritated look.

            “Oh, did you run out again?”

            “Seeing as how I only have two pairs of clothes, yes, Naruto, I ran out again.”

            “Yeah, yeah, don’t get your panties in a twist,” I said, standing up and rifling through my clothes until I found something that was probably clean.

            Sasuke eyed the sweatpants and t-shirt with disdain.  “Are these clean?”

            “Of course,” I lied.

            Sasuke glared at me.

            I grinned.

            “Whatever,” he muttered, going to change.

            We both brushed our teeth over my little sink, shoving one another out of the way when we needed to spit, then went to settle on the couch.

            “You gonna read?” I asked.

            “Mm,” Sasuke said, picking up his book from the table.

            I stared at him.

            Sasuke held his book open, masterfully turning the page with just his thumb.

            I continued to stare.

            “Come here, stupid,” Sasuke finally said, not looking up.

            I grinned, launching myself at his chest and snuggling against him.

            Sasuke continued to read while I enjoyed my cuddle quota of the day.  It wasn’t very manly, I know, but as someone who had barely been hugged his entire life, it felt so good.

            I let Sasuke read in peace for a while, feeling quiet myself.

            There were a lot of things weighing on me.  I didn’t want to dwell on them, but that didn’t make them go away.  I’d been going to a lot of funerals lately.  Yesterday had been Shikamaru’s father’s.  We’d worked together today, cleaning up rubble on the outskirts of town.  It wasn’t like when Asuma-sensei died, but there was still a certain heaviness to Shikamaru that made my heart ache, too.

            I glanced up at Sasuke, who was engrossed in whatever he was reading.  My eyes flicked to the title of the book.  It was one of those trashy ninja mysteries that had gotten popular lately.  I snorted.

                Sasuke ignored me.

            I resettled myself so my head was on his lap.  “Baa-chan said I can start going on real missions again,” I announced, staring up at Sasuke’s face.

            “And what did the venerable hokage say about that?” he asked, his eyes still fixed on the page he was reading.

            “Sometimes I forget Kakashi-sensei is the hokage now…” I said, realizing I hadn’t even talked to him about it.

            “He acts like he’s still a jonin.”

            “Yeah, he doesn’t even wear his robes.  Or the hat!  Man, how can he not wear the hat?  When I’m hokage, I’m gonna wear the shit out of that hat.”

            “…why…?”

            “I dunno, I just feel like I’d look really boss in it.”

             Sasuke went back to reading.

            “Are you gonna start taking missions?” I asked.

            “I’m not a Leaf ninja.”

            “Aren’t you, though?”

            “No.”

            “But you’re living here.”

            “For now.”

            “Don’t say that,” I whined.

            “Naruto,” Sasuke said, and I knew he was irritated from having to repeat himself.  “I’ll always be here for you, so shut up.”

            “I like when you’re physically here.”

            “I still have things I have to resolve.”

            “Like what?”

            Sasuke acted like he was reading, but he didn’t turn the page.

            I sat up and pressed a kiss to his temple.  Affection had come easily to us after the Valley of the End, as long as no one else was around.  We both craved it, me more obviously and Sasuke more subtly, but we both craved it.

            Sasuke set his book down and pressed his forehead to mine.  “What are we doing?” he asked quietly.

            “I dunno,” I said, studying his black eyes.

            “Of course you don’t know what you’re doing, but I always know what I’m doing.”

            “Nothing wrong with the unknown.”

            “I need to know,” Sasuke said, casting his eyes down.  “I didn’t expect to… I mean maybe I’ve always…” he trailed off.  “I’m happy,” he finally said.

            A strangled-sounding noise escaped from my throat, and I swallowed hard.

            “You’re such a crybaby,” Sasuke murmured, and I could feel his smile against my cheek as he kissed it.

            “I’m not crying,” I protested with a loud sniff.

            “I like that about you,” Sasuke said, kissing my nose.

            “Oh, well then I’m totally crying,” I said, trying to laugh.  It came out more like a stifled sob.

                “Thank you,” Sasuke whispered against my lips.

            “For what?” I whispered back.

            “For… caring,” Sasuke said, pressing his lips lightly to mine before pulling back.

            “Of course I care about you, bastard,” I said, following after to him to kiss him again.

            Sasuke threaded his fingers into my hair.

            I slid more comfortably onto his lap, straddling his thighs.

            “You’re all teary and gross,” Sasuke informed me, moving his hand to wipe at my cheek.

            “I can’t help it,” I growled, nipping at his finger.

            “Beast,” Sasuke muttered, moving his hand back to my hair.  He started running his fingers through the hairs at the back of my neck, making me want to purr.

            “You mean it?”

            “What?  That you’re an animal?  I think we already established this.”

            “Sasukeeeeee.”

            Sasuke was quiet, his hand stilling.

            I looked down at him, occasionally scrubbing at my eyes.

            “Yeah,” he said.  “I’m really happy right now.”

            All the betrayal and the hatred and the anger just didn’t matter anymore.

            Sasuke was here now, and he was happy.


	5. Chapter 5

            I lay in the middle of the training ground, feeling exhausted.

            “Get up, loser.”

            “You first,” I retorted.  I hadn’t gone all out in a fight since… well, since the last time Sasuke and I had fought.  I had sore muscles where I didn’t even know I had muscles.

            “Well, that was a testosterone-induced show of stupidity if ever I’ve seen one,” Sakura commented, walking over to us from the sidelines.

            “What’s that supposed to mean?” I complained.

            “It means I told you both to take it easy,” Sakura said, smacking me upside the head.

            “Ow, jeez, why would you do that?”

            “Because I can,” Sakura said, helping me to sit up.  “Anything serious?”

            “Nah, Kurama can heal everything,” I said, but even as I was saying it I could hear Kurama’s sleepy griping.

            Sakura turned to Sasuke, who had sat up by himself.  She seemed hesitant.

            “Sas’, you okay?” I asked, deciding to help her out.

            “I’m fine,” he answered stoically.

            “Really?  ’Cause I got in some good hits…”

            “They weren’t that good.”

            “What was that?!” I demanded, grabbing Sasuke by the edges of his trampy-looking kimono and glowering.

            “You’re both hopeless!” Sakura declared, stalking away.

            Sasuke watched her go, a subtle tension in his face revealing how conflicted he was.

            “You need to fix things with Sakura-chan,” I said, letting go of him.

            “We’re fine.”

            “You’re not fine.  Things are weird between you two.”

            “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re the only person who’s accepted me back to the village.”

            “That’s not true!”

            “It is true, so stop trying to pretend otherwise.”

            “B-b-but!  But!”

            “Not everyone is as forgiving as you.”

            I sighed, standing up.  “Let’s go home.”

            Sasuke stood up and followed me.

            “It felt good to really train,” I commented as we walked.

            “Mm,” Sasuke agreed.

            I almost reached for his hand, then stopped, thinking how weird that was.

            “Let’s get some groceries,” Sasuke said, pointing to the vegetable stand on the side of the road.

            “Okay,” I agreed.

            Sasuke started fussing over which cabbage was the best cabbage, while I stood on the sidewalk and felt bored, not to mention sore, dirty, and tired.

            Were those passersby glaring at Sasuke?

            I felt my eyes narrowing.

            Sasuke seemed unaffected, busy talking to the vendor in a familiar way.

            There were more people walking by, more suspicious glances and glares.

            Then they saw me and smiled.

            “What’s that dumb look on your face for?” Sasuke asked, coming up beside me.  “Let’s go.”

            I nodded, walking beside him.

            “What’s wrong?” Sasuke asked when we got back to the apartment.

            “Nothing.”

            “You didn’t say a word the whole way home.”

            “Didn’t have anything to say.”

            “Ha.”

            “What?  I can be quiet sometimes.”

            “No, no you can’t.”

            “Can too,” I muttered stubbornly, watching Sasuke put the groceries away.

            “Just spit it out already, I want to wash up.”

            “Then go wash up, no one’s stopping you.”

            “Fine,” Sasuke said with a shrug, moving towards the bathroom.

            I followed him, watching as he undid his obi.

            “Do you mind?” he asked, giving me an irritated look.

            “Not at all, please do continue,” I said, grinning.

            Sasuke gave me a very long look, then let his top slide off his shoulders and down his arms.

            I watched the descent, eyes gobbling up the bare skin that was revealed.

            “You’re really gay, Naruto,” Sasuke informed me, kicking me out of the bathroom area and closing the door.

            “Am I?” I asked, scratching my head.  But there was no question that I was lusting after Sasuke’s body.  He looked like a chick in the face, though, so it was probably okay.

            It wasn’t like I was in love with Sasuke or anything.  He was my best friend/rival/brother.  And sometimes we made out.  It was teenage hormones.

            I was just happy to have him back.

            I sounded like I was in denial even to myself, but I decided not to think too much about it.

            Sasuke came out of the bathroom, dressed in my clothes with a towel draped around his neck.

            “You wanna go clothes shopping tomorrow?” I asked.  “I have some time between therapy and work.”

            “I don’t have any money.”

            “You’re always buying food and crap…”

            “I don’t have money to waste on frivolous expenses.”

            “If clothes are a frivolous expense, then I am okay with you not wearing them anymore.”

            Sasuke gave me a very long stare.

            “Or maybe you just like wearing my clothes?”

            “We’re going shopping tomorrow.”

            “Why do I feel like I’ve lost this argument…?”

            “Go take a bath, loser.”

            I stuck my tongue out at him, stripping off my mesh shirt as I went and accidentally licking it.

            Sasuke snorted.

“Are you laughing at me?!” I demanded.

            “Yes.”

            “Oh, okay…”

            “‘Okay’?” Sasuke repeated, looking like he wanted to laugh again.

            “I’ll get my revenge later,” I said, disappearing into the bathroom.

            I took a long time.  I kept thinking about Sasuke standing there earlier, letting his top slide off his shoulders.  It was like the image had been burned into my retinas, but in a very positive way.  I started imagining what he would do next.

            I took a really long time.

            “Did you drown?” Sasuke asked when I came out.  He was sitting at the kitchen table, writing something.

            “Mm,” I said dreamily.  I came up behind him and started rubbing his shoulder.

            “You suck at that.”

            I stopped.

            “I didn’t tell you to stop.”

            “You just said-”

            “Well, if you’re just going to accept that you suck…”

            “You are so manipulative,” I muttered, but I started moving my hand again anyway.  I didn’t really know much about massage, but I could see the tension in Sasuke’s shoulders.  I started digging my fingers into his muscles, trying to loosen them up.

            At some point Sasuke stopped writing.  I watched him turn into a puddle on the table.

            “Did I work you too hard today?” I teased, clapping him on the back.

            Sasuke turned his head to the side to level me with a glare that lacked any kind of intensity to it.  “Like you could,” he said in a languid voice, then added for good measure, “stupid.”

            “You should be nicer to me,” I informed him.

            “You like me just the way I am.”

            “Do I?” I asked, scratching at the back of my neck.

            Sasuke sat up straight, turning his head to face me.  “Yeah.  You do.”

            It was awful, but it was true.

            “C’mere,” I said, taking his hand and pulling him out of the chair.  “There’s a terrible movie on TV tonight that’s about to start.”

            “I need to cook dinner,” Sasuke said, though he was letting me lead him over to the couch.

            “We can have ramen.”

            “No.”

            “Takeout?”

            Sasuke paused, then said, “okay.”

            “Good,” I said.  “Let’s stay in tonight.”

            “We stay in every night…”

            “Damn, you’re right,” I said, suddenly realizing that I’d become a hermit.  But everyone was so busy right now, dealing with injuries and the injured, the cleanup, loss and grief, and anyone who wasn’t dealing with at least two of those was covering all the out-of-town missions that were piling up with so many ninjas off-duty.  “We should get together with everyone from the academy soon.”

            “They all hate me.”

            “They don’t hate you…”

            “Naruto.”

            “Well, they’ll get over it,” I said.  “You helped save the freaking world.  If you hadn’t been there-”

            “I almost killed you and cost you your arm,” Sasuke said flatly.  “People aren’t so forgiving.”

            “Ha, like you almost killed me,” I scoffed.  “ _I_ almost killed _you_.”

            “Shut it,” Sasuke said.  “Where’s this stupid movie of yours?”

            I turned on the TV and settled onto the couch with Sasuke.

            The news was still on.

            “You wanna order pizza?” I asked, lacing my fingers with his.

            “Okay,” Sasuke agreed.

            “Really?”

            “Mm.”

            “So you really are tired from our sparring.”

            “Ha.  Like you could even make me break a sweat.”

            “Um, you were sweating a lot on the training ground.  Like profusely.  Like your bangs were all plastered to your forehead.”

            “You’re mistaken.”

            “Is that your new way to win arguments?  To just tell blatant lies, and when I disagree with you using factual evidence, you just tell me I’m wrong?”

            “That was kind of intelligent-sounding, Naruto.”

            “And now you’re trying to distract me by complimenting me!”

            “It really wasn’t a compliment.”

            “I’m onto you, Uchiha.”

            “Go order the pizza, Nar’.”

            “Okay,” I said, leaning in and giving Sasuke an unnecessarily sloppy smooch.

            He looked really unimpressed.  Then his eyes slid shut as he gave me a much more skillful kiss.

            The slide of his tongue against mine made me shiver.  Sasuke had finally overcome his aversion to the use of tongue, which was just spectacular.  Of course, it also made me ridiculously horny, and that never led to anything good.

            I held myself back, slowly pushing my tongue against his before sliding it into his mouth.  I wanted to ravage him in the most aggressive way possible, but I had learned that that only got me put in a surprise chokehold.  No, no, there would be no rushing on my part.  Except god I was getting hard.

            Sasuke was always calm and composed when we kissed.  It drove me even crazier.  I wanted to make him a moaning drooling mess like, well, me.

            I tugged on his bottom lip and got a growl in response.

            Shit, I was definitely hard now.

            “Sasuke,” I groaned, biting him a little harder.

            Sasuke bit me back, and that was the last of my self-control.

            I shoved him onto his back, plunging my tongue into his mouth while my hand roved around looking for whatever it could touch.  My hips started a slow rhythm against Sasuke’s, long-restrained relief finally starting to come.

            And then Sasuke became like a dead fish under me.

            “Sasukeeee,” I groaned, pulling back.

            He looked helpless, and I immediately felt guilty.

            “What, what, I’m sorry,” I blurted out, sitting up quickly.

            Sasuke shook his head, sitting up, too.  “What do you want from me?”

            “What do I… what do you mean?”

            “Do you want to have sex?”

            My flagging erection jumped back to life.  “I… uh… well… yes.  Yes, I do,” I said, trying to be assertive even though I was confused as hell about my own feelings.

            “Why?” Sasuke asked.

            “Well, uh… you know.”

            “No, I really don’t.”

            “You’re not attracted to me at all?” I asked, trying not to sound hurt and pathetic.

            “I’m asking you why you want to have sex with me.”

            This conversation was really doing wonders for my self-esteem.  “Well I don’t anymore!” I snapped.

            “Stop being childish,” Sasuke said, sounding bored.  “I just want to understand.”

            “Obviously we don’t feel the same way about each other.”

            “Don’t go there,” Sasuke said, finally starting to show a little emotion.  Unfortunately, it was irritation, but I’d take what I could get.  “You know how I feel about you.  I told you every fucking embarrassing detail of it.”

            “I was half-conscious and delirious from blood loss at the time.”

            “Don’t do that.  You know what I said.”

            “Then say it again now.”

            Sasuke looked away, muttering, “fuck you.”

            “Talk to me,” I pleaded, touching his arm.  “Because you’re giving off really mixed signals, and I’m already confused enough about this as is.”

            “Then answer my question.”

            “What was it again?”

            Sasuke made a very frustrated-sounding noise before saying, “Why do you want to have sex with me?”

            “I dunno,” I said.  “I guess ’cause you make my dick hard?”

            Sasuke gave me the most withering look in his arsenal.

            “Look, I don’t really get it either,” I said.  “I’ve never… you know?  But you’re all I think about lately, and somehow those thoughts always turn naked and horizontal.”

            Sasuke rubbed at his stub absently.  “I don’t know what to say.”

            “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted it, too,” I said, resting my head on the back of the couch and staring up at the ceiling.  “I… I’m sorry.  I don’t even know what I’m thinking.  It’s weird, right?  That we kiss and stuff.  It’s weird.  I’m sorry.  I’ve been forcing you, haven’t I?  I don’t…  I’m really sorry.  I was just so overwhelmed when you came back, and I’ve been making it weird-”

            “You’re not forcing me,” Sasuke interrupted me.  “No one forces me to do anything.”

            “I’m confused.”

            Sasuke sighed, reaching out his hand to cup my cheek.  “I’m confused, too, okay?”

            I looked at him pitifully.

            “I like kissing you,” he said, a flush coloring his cheeks.  “I feel really close to you when we do.”

            “I don’t feel like you like it,” I said, scrubbing at my eyes.

            Sasuke bumped his forehead against mine.  “I’m telling you that I do, so shut up.”

            “What’s happening to me?” I asked.  “I can barely control myself around you anymore.”

            “Because you’re weak,” Sasuke answered easily.

            I growled at him.

            Sasuke bit his lip, then kissed me briefly.  “Let’s start tonight over?”

            “I’ll order the pizza?”

            Sasuke nodded, his nose bumping into mine.

            “Can we hug first?”

            Sasuke wrapped his arm around me in response.

            I hugged him back.  “I wish I had two arms to hug you with.”

            “I know,” Sasuke said, and I could hear the guilt in his voice for the first time.

            I hugged him tighter.

            “But that was a really lame thing to say,” he added.

            “Asshole,” I muttered.

            “Your dumb movie started,” Sasuke said, pulling back a little.

            “Tell me what happens,” I said, getting up.  I felt embarrassed all of the sudden, and I wanted a few minutes alone.

            “Does that mean I have to actually pay attention?”

            “Yes.”

            “The things I do for you, Uzumaki.”

            “Yeah, that’s some real self-sacrifice there,” I said, rolling my eyes and quickly moving off to my room.

            The rest of the night was fine.  Sasuke was clearly overcompensating for something, being weirdly nice and affectionate with me.  I felt nervous with all the touching at first, but having Sasuke pressed against me just felt natural.  Eventually we were cuddled up together like usual, Sasuke treating me like a piece of furniture while I stroked his overly-styled-but-surprisingly-still-soft hair.

            He even initiated a good night kiss.

            I felt better, but I realized that things weren’t going to continue on in the easy, relaxed way of our first few weeks together.

            I couldn’t keep pretending like what was happening between me and Sasuke was normal.  I just didn’t understand what exactly it was that was happening.


	6. Chapter 6

            “I’m home!” I announced cheerfully, closing the door behind me.  I loved being able to say that and actually get an answer.

            Except there was no answer.

            “Sasuke?” I called, dropping my mission bag on the floor and moving into the living room.  I had been away for three days, and while I’d mostly been focused on the mission, there was a little part of me worrying about how Sasuke would do on his own.

            I wandered all around the apartment, checking the bathroom and my bedroom.  No Sasuke.

            So maybe I panicked a little.  I was suddenly in sage mode, combing Konoha for Sasuke’s chakra.

            “Sasukeeee!” was my battle cry as I started leaping over rooftops, heading towards my target.

            “What the-?” was all he managed to say before I tackled him to the ground.

            “Sasuke!” I wailed, clinging to him.

            “Get off of me!” he snapped, trying to shove me away.

            “I got home and you weren’t there-”

            “It’s the middle of the fucking day, why would I be there?!”

            “Oh,” I said, stopping to think.  “That’s right.”

            “Moron,” Sasuke muttered, shoving me to the ground and standing up.  He started furiously brushing off his pants.

            I looked around, realizing we were in someone’s garden.  “Where are we?”

            Sasuke gave me a withering look.  “My house.”

            “Whaaaat?” I said, sitting up.  “It’s… big.  And are you… gardening?”

            “Obviously,” Sasuke said, brandishing a trowel.

            “Oh.”

            “Are we done here?  I have work to do, and you’re crushing my lettuce.”

            “Oh,” I said again, standing up and looking back at the little vegetable patch I’d been laying in.

            Sasuke let out an annoyed breath.

            I chewed on my lip for a moment, ready to go back, but not quite.  “Come home soon?”

            “I told you, I have work to do.”

            “I just missed you is all,” I said quietly.

            “And you thought I left.”

            It was an accusation, and it was true.  “I lost my head a little when you weren’t there…”

            “You’re never going to trust me.”

            “I _do_ trust you.”

            “Go home already.”

            “But-”

            “I just need to finish winterizing the garden, and then I’ll come home.”

            “Okay,” I said, skulking back home with my tail between my legs.

            Sasuke came an hour later.  “I’m home.”

            “Welcome back,” I said, pausing briefly in my sit-ups.

            “Didn’t you just come back from a mission?” Sasuke asked, eyeing me as he came into the living room.

            “Do you think this six-pack made itself?” I asked, gesturing to my beautiful abs and flexing them for Sasuke’s viewing pleasure.

            Sasuke gave me a very disinterested look.

            “Could you at least pretend to be attracted to me?” I complained.

            “Nope.”

            I fell back onto the floor in defeat.

            To my surprise, Sasuke sat on my stomach.

            “Huh?” I said.

            “I’m… glad…” he said, and it was clearly like pulling teeth to get the words out.

            “Huh?” I repeated.

            “…that… you’re back…”

            “Sasukeeeee!” I cried, trying to sit up so I could smother him with my affections.

            “You are so annoying,” he said, pinning my chest down with his hand.  “I hate when you say my name like that.”

            “No you don’t,” I said.  “’Cause when I’m all ‘Sasukeeee’, you’re all ‘Narutooooo’.”

            “I do not sound like that.”

            “You do.  Sai does a really funny impression.”

            “I will gut him.”

            I snorted.

            “I don’t sound like that!” Sasuke insisted.

            “Whatever you say, bastard,” I said.  “Deniiiial.”

            “Narutooo,” he said, low and threatening.

            I cracked up.

            “Don’t laugh!” he snarled, smacking me on the chest.

            I laughed harder.

            Sasuke didn’t appreciate that, and we ended up wrestling all over the floor.

            We somehow ended up back in exactly the same position we started in, with Sasuke sitting on my stomach.

            “Ha,” he said, looking smug.

            I glared up at him.

            Sasuke leaned down and kissed me briefly.  “I missed you.”

            I lay there stupidly, eyes still closed as I savored the tingling on my lips.

            I felt Sasuke’s weight leave me.

            “We’re both gross,” he commented.

            “You’re such a clean freak.”

            “And you’re a dirty freak.”

            “That’s not a thing, Sasuke.”

            “I’m taking a bath.”

            “Isn’t it kinda early for that?”

            “Let’s go to the bathhouse.”

            Little Naruto sprang to attention at that.

            “You can relax a little after your mission,” Sasuke continued, oblivious.

            “Uhhh…” I said, trying not to picture Sasuke naked in the baths, asking me to help him wash his back.

            “Go get your stuff,” Sasuke said, moving into my room.

            I took a moment to compose myself, then followed him.

            Sasuke was rooting through the drawer in my dresser that I’d cleared out for him, pulling out a towel and a change of clothes.

            “I dunno if this is a good idea,” I said.

            “Then don’t come,” Sasuke replied, moving to the bathroom.

            “Sasukeeee.”

            “Are you going to jump me as soon as you see me naked or something?” Sasuke asked, gathering up his froofy body wash.

            “It’s a possibility,” I said.

            “What is wrong with you?”

            “I am a horny teenage boy with unmet needs.”

            Sasuke looked at me with that awful helpless look he got that made me feel like absolute shit for wanting him and ruining our entire relationship.

            “Just go by yourself,” I said, turning to walk away.

            Sasuke caught my wrist, keeping me in place.  “What if I… met some of those needs?”

            I almost fell over.  “Don’t joke around like that!” I said, turning around and gesturing wildly at my now visible hard on.

            “I’m not joking,” he said, a resolved look on his face.

            “Oh, fuck,” was all I could say, sinking to floor.

            “You want to do it here?”

            “Jesus.”

            “Well?”

            “You’re gonna touch me when I’m all sweaty and gross?”

            “Let’s just get it over with.”

            “Oh, yeah, sure, that’s real sexy, let’s just get it over with.”

            “So you don’t want a hand job?”

            “Oh my god, a hand job…”

            “Well?”

            “Sasuke, are you being serious right now?”

            “Clearly.”

            “I really don’t understand.”

            Sasuke made an irritated sound in the back of his throat, crouching down beside me on the bathroom floor.  “Ready?”

            “No,” I squeaked, but he was already sliding my workout shorts down my hips.

            “This is what you want, isn’t it?” Sasuke said, glaring at me.

            I nodded frantically.  “Yeah, yeah, very much so, but-”

            Sasuke reached into my boxers and _grasped_.

            “Holy fucking shit mother of god fuck!”

            Then he started _stroking_.

            An endless string of profanities poured out of my mouth.  I braced myself on my hand, leaning my head back and letting it all out.

            It ended a lot more quickly than expected.

            “Disgusting,” Sasuke muttered, holding up his jizz-covered hand and looking repulsed.

            “Sorry,” I said, grinning stupidly.

            Sasuke was already scrubbing his hand vigorously with soap.

            He was a very sexy hand washer, I decided.

            “Can we go now?” he asked, turning to me and giving me an irritated look.

            “Whaaat?” I said.  “No, c’mere.”

            Sasuke crouched down beside me, looking disdainful.

            I pulled him into a kiss, still basking in the afterglow of Uchiha Sasuke giving me a freaking hand job.  I tugged on his bottom lip with my teeth, trying to get a reaction.

            Sasuke pulled away.  “Are you ready now?”

            I felt my brows drawing together.

            Sasuke stood up, grabbing his things and moving towards the entryway.  “If you’re coming, then hurry up.”

            I hurriedly cleaned up, redressing and grabbing a towel before following after him.

            I was feeling really conflicted.  On the one hand, I thought Sasuke and I had just taken a huge step towards some great unnamed something.  On the other hand, I felt like Sasuke had been so not into it.

            And if he thought that was gonna stop me from getting an erection when I looked at him naked, that was hilarious, because he had just given me like a month’s supply of new wank material.

            We paid at the bathhouse, then moved into the locker room to undress.

            I very specifically did not look at Sasuke.

            Meanwhile, he was acting the same as always.  Like he hadn’t just jerked me off on my bathroom floor.

            I had no idea what he was thinking, and it was kind of freaking me out.

            Sasuke moved into the bath area, and I watched his naked ass disappear into the steam.

            Shit.  Think gross thoughts.  Think about… Jiraiya’s saggy balls.  Yes.  Thank you, Jiraiya’s saggy balls.

            I moved into the bath area, finding a shower far away from Sasuke.  I washed myself off quickly, ready to just soak in the tub.

            “Naruto.”

            My relaxing bath was not meant to be, as Sasuke sank into the water next to me.

            “Hey,” I said.

            “Hey,” he replied, looking really pissed off.

            “What did I do now?”

            Sasuke looked at me, blinking away the anger.  “Nothing,” he said, nudging my knee with his.

            “Then why’re you so mad?”

            “Because I can’t kick people’s asses who deserve it.”

            “Why do you want to kick my ass?!”

            “I told you, it’s not you.”

            “Then who-” I started to say, only to finally notice the two men glowering at Sasuke from the opposite bath.

            “Are those guys bothering you?” I asked, feeling a bit pissed myself.

            “It’s nothing,” Sasuke said, sinking into the water up to his chin.

            “You’re clearly mad.”

            “I don’t care what people think about me, but…”

            I sank into the water in front of him, staring into his eyes directly.

            “You shouldn’t bother with me, Naruto.”

            “What’s going on in your crazy head now?” I asked.  “I mean, especially after _this afternoon_ , don’t go saying stupid things like that.”

            “You’re so oblivious sometimes,” Sasuke informed me.  “You’re their hero now.  Everyone loves you.  That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

            “It sounds real shallow when you put it like that…”

            “I’m not trying to put you down.  I’m saying that you’ve gotten what you always wanted, so why mess that up?”

            “How am I messing it up?”

            “Because I’m the pariah now.”

            “Sasuke, I think I need that dictionary you were threatening to buy me…”

            Sasuke tried to look annoyed, but a fond smile was playing on his lips.  “I’m the one everyone hates now.  And when you associate yourself with me, it makes you look bad.”

            “Who cares about that?” I scoffed.  “When I’m Hokage, I’ll make that kind of crap illegal.”

            “I don’t think the hokage makes laws…”

            “I’ll do what I want.”

            Sasuke rolled his eyes.

            “Let’s just relax,” I said, directing Sasuke so that he was sitting with his back to those two assholes.  I was kind of mad, but Sasuke was controlling his temper, so I decided to be an adult and control mine, too.

            Plus, Sasuke was holding my hand under the water.

            “The water feels really good,” I commented.

            “Mm.”

            We settled into a comfortable silence.

            “Narutooo, you two on a date?” Kiba asked, plopping into the bath across from me.

            “Basically,” I said agreeably.

            “Tch,” Sasuke said, subtly letting go of my hand.

            Shino joined us with a nod, sitting next to Kiba.

            “You two on a date, too?” I asked.

            “Yeah, Shino’s always complaining I never take him anywhere nice.”

            Shino and Sasuke exchanged long-suffering looks.

            “I see we all had the same idea, though,” Kiba said.  “After all that freaking jumping through the trees, time for a nice bath.”

            “Still won’t let Akamaru back into the baths, though?”

            “No, and it’s completely stupid.”

            “Yeah, I would totally be down for bathing with Akamaru.”

            “I appreciate that,” Kiba said, giving me a sincere look of gratitude.

            Sasuke was looking at me like I was an idiot.

            I grinned at him.

            Sasuke just rolled his eyes and looked away.

            I talked to Kiba until Sasuke announced to me that he was getting wrinkly, and stood up to get out.

            I said goodbye to Kiba and Shino.  I followed Sasuke back to the showers and then to the locker room.

            “I wish you’d talk more,” I said, poking him in his side.

            “What, to Dog Boy and Bug Boy?”

            “They have names.”

            “Am I supposed to remember them?”

            “You know their names!”

            Sasuke flashed me a grin as he bent over to pull on his boxers.

            I got a little distracted.

            “Anyway, they’re your friends, not mine,” Sasuke said, standing back up straight and running a brush through his hair.

            “Maybe if you stopped thinking like that, other people might actually like you.”

            “I don’t need their approval.”

            “You need to fix things with Sakura-chan.”

            Sasuke sighed.  “Let’s just go home already.”

            “You’re not even dressed.”

            “After I get dressed, obviously.”

            I made a face at him, but I let it drop.  After chasing him for almost four years, I knew I couldn’t make Sasuke do anything that he didn’t want to do.

            I just had to convince him that what I wanted him to do was what he wanted to do.


	7. Chapter 7

            “I have to finish cooking,” Sasuke said, trying to pull away.

            “There’s still plenty of time,” I reasoned, peppering him with kisses.

            “And the cleaning…”

            “It’s almost done,” I lied, tracing the line of his hip.

            Sasuke kissed me, then pulled back, then leaned forward and kissed me again.

            We’d been doing this for almost an hour.  The way Sasuke was lying next to me on the couch had his back to the clock.  I wasn’t about to tell him how late it was getting.

            Sasuke pulled away again, and I followed him, catching his lips with mine.

            “Naruto,” he murmured into my mouth.

            I thought I would die.  He was too cute.

            “Sasuke,” I murmured back, giving him a few playful kisses before deepening it.

            He growled at me, tongue moving against mine, seeking dominance.

            My grip tightened on his hip.  I had to hold on tight to keep from going crazy.

            Sasuke’s hand slid to the back of my neck, holding me firmly in place when I tried to pull back a little.  He was relentless with his mouth, leaving me lightheaded.

            “Satisfied?” he asked, finally pulling away.

            I pulled in a shuddery breath.  “Shit, Sas’.”

            Sasuke smacked me on the cheek and got off of the couch.

            “No, come back,” I said, finding myself grasping at air as Sasuke moved back to the kitchen.

            “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have invited all your little friends over,” Sasuke said, resuming his cooking preparations that had been previously interrupted.  “We could spend the night alone.”

            “Yeah, let’s do that,” I said dreamily.  “Wait, no!  Foul temptress!  You’re not getting out of this!”

            ‘Foul temptress?’ Sasuke mouthed at me.

            I grinned, continuing to lie on the couch.

            “Are you going to finish cleaning the bathroom anytime soon?”

            “After you just made me your total bitch?” I scoffed.  “I’m staying here.”

            “You’re a very disobedient bitch,” Sasuke said, holding his spatula in a way that might be conceived of as threatening.  “Do I have to remind you again-”

            “I invited them, it’s my party, blah blah blah, yeah, I get it.”

            “Then clean the damn toilet.”

            “Sasuke, you gotta give me some recovery time here.”

            “I think you’re just weak.”

            “Damn you,” I said, trying to be angry.  Who could be angry at sexy, dominant Sasuke, though?  I liked when he was confident and self-assured.  Of course, I also liked when he was shy and cute, but dominant Sasuke put out more.

            Sasuke continued to move around the kitchen.  I could see the tension in his movements.  He wasn’t exactly thrilled to be getting together with the other rookie nine.  I’d thought our impromptu make out session would get him to relax a little.

            Apparently not.

            “If I have to tell you again…”

            “What’re you gonna do?” I challenged him.

            Sasuke gave me the most evil-looking smile.

            I shuddered and rolled off of the couch.

            “Also, don’t think I haven’t noticed how late it is.”

            “I think everyone in this room needed that intermission from housework.”

            “I’ll kick your ass later.”

            “Ha.  Try it.”

            “Don’t have to try, when you make it so easy.”

            “Sasukeeee.”

            “Toilet.  Now.”

            “Yes, bitchmaster.”

            Sasuke paused at that, looking really pleased.  “You may call me that, yes.”

            “Oh, god…” I muttered, slinking off to the bathroom.  I took a very long leak before finally setting forward on my task of cleaning.

            I’d never cleaned for guests before, much less cooked for them.  This was going to be the fanciest party the apartment had ever seen.  Also, the only one.  But still, the fanciest.

            After I’d finished cleaning the bathroom, I sauntered back out to Sasuke, stealing a mini-tomato out of the salad and chomping it down.

            “Did you wash your hands?” he asked, looking disgusted.

            “My hand?  Yes, obviously,” I retorted.

            Sasuke eyed me suspiciously.  “And everything’s clean in there?”

            “Of course.”

            “To my standard of clean?”

            “You’re so damn prissy,” I commented.

            “Who the hell is prissy?!”

            “Like I just said, you.”

            I suddenly found myself pinned to the refrigerator.

            “Yeah?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head in a challenging way.

            “Yeah,” I replied, meeting his eyes evenly.

            “Oh, okay,” Sasuke said with a shrug, letting me go and walking back over to the stove.

            “Hey!” I said.

            “Like I don’t know what you’re trying to do,” Sasuke said with a smirk.

            “I’m not trying to do anything!”

            “Mm-hm.”

            “Well, okay, so I thought a nice fight could lead to some tension relief.”

            “Is that what we’re calling it now, ‘tension relief’?”

            “Is ‘sucking face’ better?”

            Sasuke snorted.

            I watched him stirring something on the stove, feeling all warm and toe-curling inside.  Living with someone, sharing my life, and doing all the mundane, everyday things together was so amazing, and when that person was Sasuke…

            “Earth to dobe,” Sasuke said, giving me a kick in the butt.  “Stop standing around and clean the living room.  And stop looking like a perv.”

            “I wasn’t even perving on you, I was having nice, wholesome thoughts,” I protested.

            Sasuke raised an eyebrow at me.

            I pushed the kitchen knife he was holding out of the way and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.  Then I went to the living room to start cleaning.

            Sasuke was standing there, smiling all fondly at me.

            “See, not perving!”

            “Whatever.”

            I was very into my vacuuming when the doorbell rang.  I was so into it that I didn’t notice that someone was at the door until Sasuke started yelling at me.  I turned off the vacuum.  “What?”

            “Answer the damn door.”

            “Oh,” I said, loping off to the entryway.

            Sakura was standing outside, looking completely nervous.

            “Sakura-chaaaaaan!” I cried, throwing the door wide open.  “Welcome, welcome.”

            “I uh baked some cookies for dessert,” she said, holding the tray out to me.

            “You’re the best!” I said, taking the tray and stealing one of the cookies off of the top.

            “For dessert, I said!” Sakura cried, smacking me in the arm.

            Startled, I swallowed the cookie whole and proceeded to start choking.

            “Oh my god,” Sakura muttered, exasperated.  She pushed us into the entryway and started hitting my back.

            After my life was saved, we went into the living room.

            “It’s so… clean,” Sakura marveled.

            “That was all me,” I said, grinning proudly.

            “I don’t believe that for a second, but good job,” she said.  “Hi, Sasuke.”

            “Hey.”

            Then there was complete silence.

            I tried to think of something to say, but I was drawing a blank.

            The silence stretched and I started to sweat.

            If it went on any longer, I was going to say something really stupid.

            “Do you need any help with anything?” Sakura finally ventured quietly.

            Yes, Sakura-chan, yes, so great, you’re amazing.

            “No-” Sasuke started to say, so I kicked him.  “What the hell, Naruto?!”

            “I’m sure Sakura-chan can help you with lots of things,” I said.  “And she has two arms, so you won’t discriminate against her like you do to me.”

            “I have everything under contr-”

            “Dammit, Sasuke, let her color categorize your serving bowls or something, it’s not like you ever run out of stupid, pointless shit to do in the kitchen.”

            “It’s not pointless, color categorizing helps with the presentation aspect-”

            “Yeah, I’ll leave you two to it,” I said, picking up the vacuum cleaner and going to my room.  I plugged it in and started vacuuming, hoping that the two of them were in some form or another communicating.

            I stayed in there, pointlessly cleaning, until the doorbell rang again.

            “I’ll get it!” I announced cheerfully, skipping to the door and throwing it open.

            “Hey,” Ino said, taking off her coat and shoving it at me as she walked straight towards the living room.

            “Hi, Naruto,” Chouji said, as Shikamaru gave me a nod of greeting.

            “Glad you guys could come,” I said, gesturing grandly.  “Come in, come in.”

            Kiba, Shino, and Hinata were soon to follow, and then the party was in full swing.

            It was less awkward than expected, mostly because Sasuke was staying in the kitchen, preparing his hors d`oeuvres or whatever, while Kiba and I were in the living room, being loud.  I would have dragged Sasuke in to join us, but Sakura was with him, and it looked like they were occasionally exchanging words.  I let them be.

            Sasuke and Sakura finally made an appearance to present us with the food.

            “This is exquisite,” Chouji marveled after taking a bite.

            “Shit, Sasuke, you cook better than Sakura,” Ino commented.

            “What was that?” Sakura growled.

            “Come sit,” I said, tugging on the bottom of Sasuke’s shirt as he walked by back to the kitchen.

            “I’m busy.”

            “Come sit,” I repeated, trying to do the thing with my eyes that Sasuke always did to me to get me to obey.

            “Are you having a seizure?”

            “Sasukeeee.”

            “Oh, shut up already,” Sasuke muttered, sitting next to me in the small space provided around the coffee table.

            “Here, Sasuke,” Sakura said, passing him a plate of appetizers.

            Sasuke made a sound that was probably supposed to be his thanks.

            “How did you braise this so perfectly?” Chouji asked, holding up a piece of meat from his plate.

            I was thrilled.  Yes, Chouji, you wonderful human being, thank you for engaging Sasuke in conversation.  Even though it was a really boring conversation about cooking techniques.

            Everyone else was just kind of quietly listening in amazement as the two had a completely normal conversation.  They didn’t see Sasuke’s hand under the table, subtly clenched against my leg.

            “I keep telling Sasuke he should have a cooking show!” I finally interrupted, because seriously, I didn’t care about the perfect roast temperature.  “Ninja Cooking!  The ultimate jutsu!  Putting your chakra control to the highest test!”

            “Idiot,” Sasuke muttered.

            “Ahhahahaha!” Ino cracked up.  “Sasuke as some kind of charismatic cook, ohmigod, I’m dying.”

            “I’d really enjoy watching that,” Chouji said sincerely.

            “Would he like slice up meat with kunai in midair?” Kiba asked, suddenly getting interested.

            “I need to fix the next course,” Sasuke said, standing up abruptly.

            I got up and followed him.

            Sasuke pulled something off of the stove and started dishing it out onto the waiting plates.

            I came up behind him, resting my hand gently at the small of his back.

            “How many times have I told you you’re not allowed in the kitchen when cooking is happening?”

            “You’re just plating stuff…  Hey, can I lick the spoon?”

            Sasuke rolled his eyes and handed me the spoon.

            I wanted to kiss him.  I almost leaned in, but then I wondered if it was weird.

            Sasuke seemed to read me, and shook his head.  “Go back to your friends.”

            I poked him in the side.  “Thank you.”

            “For dismissing you?”

            “For trying.”

            Sasuke rolled his eyes.

            I went back to the living room.

            The night seemed to continue on fairly smoothly.  There was a slight awkwardness, like an unaddressed elephant in the room, but everyone was making an effort at getting along.

            After dessert was served, Sasuke finally seemed to settle in next to me a little more permanently.

            I slid my arm around him without thinking, and Sasuke made a face at me.

            “Thanks for dinner, wifey,” I said, turning it into a joke.

            “Die in a fire,” Sasuke replied, shoving me away.

            I laughed good-naturedly, but I realized the mood was getting a little darker.

            “Naruto, why don’t we start washing some of the dishes?” Sakura suggested suddenly.

            “Whaaat, more chores?” I whined.

            “Naruto,” she hissed in that threatening way of hers.

            I sighed loudly and followed her to the kitchen.

            Sakura had me up to my elbow in suds while she dried.  She was chatting with me cheerfully about how nice dinner had been, but it was in that awful fake voice she used with Sasuke.

            I didn’t notice the raised voices in the living room until they’d reached a yelling level.  That’s when I knew something was wrong.

            “Naruto,” Sakura said, catching my rubber gloved wrist.

            “They’re fighting,” I said, trying to escape her inhuman strength.

            “They all need this.”

            “But Sasuke’s all alone.”

            “That’s a choice he made a long time ago.”

            “I’m not gonna let everyone gang up on him.”

            “We all know loss, Uchiha,” Shikamaru was saying, the anger unfamiliar in his voice.  “But instead of turning our backs on our friends, we turned to them for strength.”

            “We were never friends, Nara,” Sasuke said calmly.

            “We’ve been together since we were children!” Ino put in.  “We went through the academy together, we started our lives as ninja together.  Then everything went so wrong, and we all went through that together, too!  How can you just discount those experiences like they were nothing, you selfish prick!”

            “Ino,” I said, but Sakura was still holding me in place.

            “Butt out, Naruto,” Ino answered snidely.  “This has nothing to do with you.”

            “I’m not gonna let you all bully Sasuke,” I growled.

            “No one is bullying Sasuke,” Sakura said gently.  “Everyone needs to say what they need to say.”

            “It’s fine, Naruto,” Sasuke said, his back to me.  “Get lost.”

            “This is my apartment!”

            Sasuke shrugged.

            “What, you all think I should leave?!” I asked, glancing around at my so-called-friends who were all looking at me with distinctly unfriendly expressions.

            “Naruto, it’s for the best,” Sakura urged me.  “You get too emotional when it comes to Sasuke.”

            “I don’t… who cares?  I’m not gonna just-”

            “Just go, idiot, no one wants you here!” Sasuke snapped, finally turning to look at me.

            “Fuck you, Sasuke,” I said, wrenching my arm from Sakura’s loosened grip and stomping to the door.  I made sure to slam it nice and loud behind me.


	8. Chapter 8

            I ended up at the training grounds.  I threw kunai at trees in the dark for a while.  I cried for a little bit.  I raged through old practice dummies, tearing them to smithereens.  Then I just lay on my back and stared at the stars.

            It had been over an hour, and that seemed like sufficient time for them to all kill each other.

            I headed back.

            The apartment building was still standing, which was a good sign.  When I approached the door, it was quiet.  I pushed it open and stepped in.

            Sakura and Sasuke were sitting on the couch, shoulders touching but not talking.

            I stood in the doorway uncertainly.

            Sasuke looked up at me and I quickly went over to him.

            “Did you guys… talk it out or whatever?” I asked uncertainly.

            “For now,” Sasuke said, eyes still staring up into mine.

           I couldn’t help but yank him into a hug.  I knew he was feeling vulnerable, even if he had that shitty mask on.

            “Naruto,” Sasuke muttered into my chest, sounding annoyed.

            I felt Sakura touching my arm lightly.

            That felt weirdly good, like the three of us were all suddenly connected.

            “Let go already,” came Sasuke’s sullen voice.

            I released him from my hug and turned to Sakura.  “Are you two…?”

            “It’s a process,” Sakura said, giving me a tired smile.  “We can’t just fix everything in one day.  But we’re… we’re okay?” she said, looking to Sasuke, who shrugged and nodded.

            I didn’t really agree with her, because Sasuke and I had easily fixed everything in one day.  But my relationship with Sasuke was _special_.  I felt it strongly and almost jealously.  So in my own way I was glad that it would take time.  The point was that eventually everyone would get there.

            “It’s getting late,” Sakura murmured, rising to her feet.

            “I’ll walk you home,” I volunteered.

            “That’s not necessary,” she said with a little twitch of a fond smile.

            “Yeah, but I want to.”

            Sakura shook her head, turning to look at Sasuke who was sitting on the couch silently and unmoving.  “I…” she started, hesitating.  “See you later?”

            Sasuke looked at her, and his eyes were surprisingly soft.  “Later.”

            “There’s my ladykiller,” I said, slapping Sasuke on the shoulder.

            Sasuke gave me a look that told me clearly how stupid he thought I was.

            I grinned at him.  “I’ll be back soon.”

            “It’s fine if you never come back,” Sasuke muttered, looking away.

            He really had his armor up now.  I touched his cheek briefly, then turned to Sakura.  “Are you ready, milady?”

            Sakura was looking at me and Sasuke, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she chewed on it.  Then she smiled and took my outstretched arm.  “Yeah, let’s go.”

            We stepped out into the cool night air, Sakura shifting closer to me.

            “It’s really gotten cold,” she murmured.

            “Yeah, feels like snow,” I said.

            We walked in silence for a bit.

            “What do you want to know?” she finally asked.

            “Nothing,” I said.  “Just… I don’t know.  I wish things were how they used to be.  Ya know, Team Seven, together again.”

            “We can’t go back in time,” Sakura said.  “But maybe we can build something in the future that’s just as good.”

            “That was real deep, Sakura-chan.”

            “Of course it was,” she said, letting go of my arm to punch it.

            “Ow…” I whispered, the pain so horrible that I could barely voice the word.

            Sakura moved ahead of me, then turned back to face me.  “We’ll be okay, Naruto.”

            “Yeah, we will,” I agreed, grinning.

            “I can walk the rest of the way,” she said.  “Go back to Sasuke.  You’re what he needs right now.”

            “Oh, uh… okay,” I said, rubbing at the back of my neck.  “‘Need’ is kinda a strong word…”

            “Do you know what he said at his meeting with the Elders?”

            “Well obviously not, since I wasn’t invited.”

            “He said, ‘fuck Konoha, I’m loyal to Uzumaki Naruto.’”

            “That stupid idiot said what?!  Who let him talk?!” I cried, angry but blushing.

            “The Elders asked him what he would do if you ever decided to turn against Konoha.  He just stared at them for a really long time, then said, ‘are you going to start asking me serious questions anytime soon?  Naruto _is_ Konoha.’”

            I was probably crying, but I played it off like I wasn’t.  “What a load of crap.  They actually decided to pardon him after all that?”

            “You saved him, Naruto, and he knows it.  I hope one day he’ll trust me even half as much as he trusts you.  But for now, I think you’re the only one he can be completely honest with.”

            “I don’t really get what you’re trying to say, but I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

            Sakura sighed loudly, shaking her head.  “See you tomorrow.”

            I waved to her, watching as she started leaping over rooftops.  I waited until she was gone from sight, then headed back home.

            Sasuke was curled up on the couch in the dark.

            “Hey,” I said, nudging him aside so I could slide in next to him.

            “I told you not to come back,” he muttered, nose touching mine.

            “You’re being a jerk,” I informed him.

            “What else is new?”

            “You okay?”

            “I’m fine.”

            “What’d you guys talk about?”

            “It doesn’t matter.”

            “You’re a terrible conversationalist.”

            “Then why are you always talking to me?”

            “Beats me.”

            “Hn.”

            I pulled down the collar of his shirt, staring inside it.

            “I don’t have boobs, moron.”

            “You have nice man titties.”

            “Fuck off.”

            “I didn’t like it when you told me no one wants me here.”

            “Now you’re starting in on me, too?” Sasuke snarled.

            “I’m just telling you that it didn’t make me feel good,” I said, leaning in and kissing his exposed collarbone.

            Sasuke squirmed uncomfortably.

            I let go of his shirt and returned my eyes to his.

            “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.  “You know how I am.”

            “I do,” I agreed, tilting up and kissing his forehead.

            Sasuke slid his arm around me.

            I let my lips linger on his cheek.  “Sasuke, I want… I dunno.”

            “Profound.”

            “Shut up.”

            “What do you want, loser?” Sasuke asked, making the last word sound affectionate as he nuzzled my nose with his.

            “Shit, for you to always be this cute,” I cooed, hugging him gleefully.

            Sasuke’s eyes narrowed.

            I knew what I wanted.  I wanted to tell Sasuke how I felt about him.  I just didn’t know exactly how I felt.  There were those three words floating in the back of my mind, but that couldn’t be right.  That wasn’t for me and Sasuke.  It seemed cliché and cheap to label what we had like that.

            It wasn’t that I was scared.

            Not at all.

            I decided to try for sexual favors instead.  “I want to undress you and lick every inch of your body.”

            “That sounds revolting.”

            “What the hell, Sasuke.”

            “And really gay.”

            “Well, maybe I am.”

            Sasuke’s breath hitched at that, and he looked at me uncertainly.

          “Well, I like kissing you… and touching you… and picturing you naked…  That makes me kinda gay, right?”

            “It just makes you a pervert,” Sasuke said, sticking his hand in my face and pushing me away.

            I clung to him, trying to maintain my position on the couch.  “Tell me how you feel about _me_ , dammit!” I yelled, pulling him with me to the floor as I fell.  I landed hard and my head slammed into the floor.

            Sasuke ended up on top of me, looking angry and embarrassed.  “Why should I tell you?”

            “Because I just told you how I feel!”

            “Those aren’t feelings, Naruto, that’s your dick talking.”

            “Well my dick has feelings, too!”

            “You are the fucking stupidest human being on the face of the earth.”

            “Why can’t you ever say something nice to me?!”

            “Because you’re so stupid!” Sasuke snapped, pounding his fist into my chest.

            I wasn’t sure what exactly we were fighting about.  I reached for Sasuke with my right hand, only to realize it wasn’t there.  I reached out with my left, covering his fist.  “Sas’, hey, come on.”

            Sasuke stopped beating on me, but he still looked frustrated.

            “Talk to me,” I murmured, trying not to think about how much my chest hurt.

            Sasuke shook his head.  “I’m leaving.”

            “Huh?”

            “As soon as my probation is over, I’m leaving.”

            “You’re gonna move into your house?”

            “No, I’m leaving the village.”

            I took a slow breath.  “Forever?”

            “I don’t think so.”

            “Oh, okay,” I said, trying not to sound too relieved.

            “I’ve done a lot of questionable things, Naruto,” Sasuke said, suddenly looking so serious.  “Not everyone is as forgiving as you.  I have a lot to make up for.”

            “What does that have to do with leaving the village?”

            “It’s just… what I feel like I need to do.”

            “I’d miss you,” I said, squeezing his hand.

            “I’ll miss you, too.”

            “Then don’t go.”

            “Were you listening to what I just said?”

            “Yeah,” I said, drawing his hand to me and kissing the knuckle.  I found my mouth didn’t want to leave his skin, and I started peppering kisses over the back of his hand.

            “So I’m resolved to go.”

            “Okay,” I said quietly.  I let go of his hand in favor of grasping his chin and directing his lips towards mine.  “I hate it, but okay.”

            “Thank you.”

            “You’re not doing it because of what everyone said to you tonight, right?”

            “No, it’s my decision,” Sasuke said.  “They just helped confirm it.”

            “Hey, now-”

            “Naruto, it has nothing to do with you.”

            “I’m tired of people saying that!”

            Sasuke kissed my cheek gently.  “I feel like my entire life could become only you, and it scares me.”

            “Oh,” I said, my face flaming red.

            “I have to remember how to exist without you,” Sasuke said, looking away as his own cheeks heated up.  “Because right now… I just l…  I’m so happy with you, even if you’re a moron and a pervert and seriously disgusting-”

            “Then let’s just be together forever, and you’ll never have to exist without me,” I said, staring at the couch.

            “It doesn’t work like that.”

            I sighed.  “Can we stop talking now?”

            “Yeah,” Sasuke said, sounding just as exhausted as I felt.

            “We didn’t get anywhere, did we?”

            “No, we didn’t.”

            “Talking’s overrated,” I said, kissing Sasuke’s forehead.  “Come to bed with me.”

            “No.”

            “Just for cuddling.”

            “No.”

            “I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

            “No.”

            I didn’t have the energy to pick a fight about it.  “Get off me, then,” I said, feeling dejected.

            Sasuke got up and started moving around, getting ready for bed.

            I just lay on the floor, feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.  Had anything good come out of tonight?

            “Move,” Sasuke said.

            “Huh?” I said, looking up at him.

            Sasuke dropped his futon on top of me.

            “You’re such a jerk!” I raged, throwing it off of me.

            Sasuke didn’t react, standing there unmoving.

            I got up with a disgusted sigh, my eyes briefly meeting Sasuke’s.

            He looked just as frustrated as I was.

            “Tomorrow’s my day off, so let’s do something together,” I said.

            Sasuke nodded his head.

            “Good night, Sas’,” I said, wrapping him in a quick hug.

            “Good night, Nar’,” he said, returning it.

            We’d figure it out.


	9. Chapter 9

            “Holy shit, baa-chan.”

            Sasuke gave me a disgusted look, then turned to Tsunake in earnest.  “So you’re saying it would be a viable, organic limb?”

            “That’s what I’m saying,” Tsunade said, crossing her arms over her gigantic breasts and looking very smug.  “It’ll be a fully-functioning prosthetic made from Hashirama’s cells.”

            “It will have chakra?”  Sasuke asked.

            “It will have chakra,” Tsunade confirmed.

            “What’d I waste all that time learning one-handed seals for then?” I muttered.

            When Sasuke didn’t punch me for the stupid comment, I turned to look at him.  He had his hand over his mouth, and his shoulders were shaking.

            I was surprised that it meant that much to him.  Sasuke had been able to adjust to having only one arm with ease.  I was the one with phantom limb syndrome, always forgetting the arm wasn’t there and getting myself into trouble.

            “Thank you,” I said, smiling at Tsunade as I rested my hand on Sasuke’s shoulder.  “You’ve been so busy, but you still went out of your way for us.”

            “Well we can’t have the hero of the village walking around with only one arm,” Tsunade said.  “It makes us look bad.”

            “No, really, thank you so much,” I said, getting up and throwing my arm around her.

            “Anything for you, brat,” Tsunade said softly, pressing her cheek to mine.

            I started to get a little misty, too.

            “What about you, Uchiha, got anything to say?” Tsunade demanded after finally letting me go.

            “Thank you,” Sasuke whispered in a choked voice.  “Thank you.”

            “You’re welcome,” Tsunade said with a knowing smile.

            Sasuke and I left the hospital together, both lost in our own thoughts.

            “Ah, my two favorite pupils,” a cheerful voice declared, clapping a hand each on our shoulders from behind.

            “What about Sakura-chan?” I asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

            “Ah, two of my three favorite pupils,” Kakashi said, looking back and forth between Sasuke and I with that awful crescent-shaped eye.

            “Where have you been, Hokage- _sama_?” Sasuke asked, and damn did he make it sound sarcastic.

            “You know, doing Hokage things,” Kakashi said vaguely.

            “Reading porn isn’t a ‘Hokage thing’,” I said.

            “It is now,” Kakashi said cheerfully.  “We make the job our own.”

            “Baa-chan’s been up to her neck dealing with stuff,” I said, frowning at him.  “Seems like you haven’t been helping at all.”

            “Am I being scolded by my own students?” Kakashi asked, feigning hurt.  “You used to be so sweet and adorable…”

            “What do you want?” Sasuke asked, tired of standing in the middle of the road for no reason.

            “I want to take you to lunch.”

            “Really?” I asked, getting interested.

            “Don’t be tricked, he’ll probably dump us with the bill,” Sasuke warned.

            “Sasuke, so suspicious,” Kakashi said, shaking his head.  “Come on, let’s go.”

            “Come on, Sas’,” I said, tugging on his sleeve.

            Sasuke reluctantly followed as we all headed towards the restaurant.

            We got really good service due to being with the hokage.  I started looking forward to my future life of luxury.

            The conversation was mostly just a continuation of the banter before.  We weren’t exactly talking about anything important, though it did come out that Kakashi had not only been reading porn, but had also actually been going on most of the S-rank missions that Konoha had piling up.  More and more ninjas were heading back to work, myself included, but there still weren’t enough to cover the mission load.

            “So you’re not completely useless,” Sasuke commented.

            “Slightly more useful than you, I’d say,” Kakashi said with his usual hidden smile.  He kept stealing surreptitious bites of his food when we weren’t looking.

            “Oo, burn!” I said with a laugh.

            Sasuke punched me in the arm.

            “Ow, damn, you’re almost as bad as Sakura.”

            “Loser.”

            Kakashi’s grin seemed to widen.  “You two seem to have picked up from where you left off.”

            “Kind of,” I agreed, flashing Sasuke an affectionate smile.

            Sasuke glowered at me.

            “Sasuke, you really should be nicer to the boy you promised to devote your life to.”

            I choked on my tea.

            “I do what I want,” Sasuke muttered, busying himself with eating his rice.

            “Naruto, you should have heard him at his trial,” Kakashi continued.  “It was almost as bad as your ten page love letter.”

            “It wasn’t a love letter!” I snapped on reflex.

            “Look at my cute little students, all embarrassed,” Kakashi said delightedly.

            We both glared at him.

            “Well, anyway, I hate to eat and run, but I’ve got important Hokage duties,” Kakashi said, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

            “I told you!” Sasuke said, pointing an accusing finger at where Kakashi used to be.

            “You were right,” I said mournfully.

            I went to pay the bill, my wallet looking so very empty, but the waitress just waved me off.  “Already taken care of.”

            “There is a god,” I muttered.  Saving the world had been great and all, but it didn’t pay much.  Or anything, really.  Plus I hadn’t been able to take many missions in the last few months, and I had a freeloader using my water and wasting my heat because he didn’t want to use a damn blanket.  This all added up to no money for Naruto.

            “Hn,” said Sasuke.

            “See, Kakashi-sensei isn’t so bad,” I said.

            “Hn,” repeated Sasuke.

            We started walking towards Sasuke’s house.  He had finally let me help him with it.  And by help I mean he gave me menial tasks while he did whatever it was that he actually wanted to accomplish.

            “Naruto-senpai!” a voice called out.

            I turned to see a group of giggling girls, probably a couple of years younger than us.  I gave them a confused wave.

            The girls looked thrilled.

            I was more confused.

            “They’re flirting with you, moron,” Sasuke muttered.

            “Don’t you mean they’re flirting with you?” I said, scratching at the back of my neck as we started walking again.

            “Stupid.”

            I shrugged it off, excited to help Sasuke with his house.  Today I was assembling a bookshelf, while Sasuke was painting the living room.

            It was so damn boring.

            “Sasukeeee.”

            “Shut up.”

            “But Sasukeeee.”

          “I told you if you came here that you better be quiet and do some damn work, not bother me the whole time.”

            “I’m not bothering you, I’m just talking to you.”

            “Same damn thing.”

            “You’re really crabby today, Sas’.  Especially after you were all shedding tears of joy this morning.”

            Sasuke finally threw his paintbrush down and stalked over to me.  “Go home.”

            “Nooooo,” I whined.

            “Why are you such a child?” Sasuke snarled, nudging my back with his foot.

            “I’m only seventeen…”

            “Oh, really, because I thought you were five.”

            “And you’re like an 85-year-old man.  And not the fun kind.”

            “There is a fun kind of geriatric man?”

            “Ya know, like Ero-Senin.”

            “Jiraiya wasn’t 85 years old!”

            “Close enough.”

            “You are such a moron.”

            “Can we take a break?”

            “You haven’t done anything!  What the hell do you need a break for?!”

            “Because I want to touch your butt.”

            Sasuke kicked me a bit harder.  “You’re a freak.”

            I turned away from the shelf, finally giving up the pretense of putting it together.  “You’re the freak.  You never want to do stuff.  Nice, wholesome, gay stuff.”

            Sasuke didn’t like when I said things like that, and I knew it.  It just annoyed me that he always told me I was weird for having urges that the world told me were perfectly normal.

            “Go away,” Sasuke hissed, turning his back on me.

            “Fine,” I snarled.  I didn’t know why I was so mad, but I found myself taking the familiar route back to my apartment.

            Sasuke wasn’t long behind me.

            “Weren’t you going to paint all afternoon?” I asked as the door clicked shut behind him.

            “I’m going back,” Sasuke said, hovering in the doorway to the living room.  “I just…”

            “You just what?”  I didn’t feel like making it easier for him.  Why was I so mad?  He hadn’t said anything worse than usual.

            Sasuke came closer.  “I know I’m pushing you away.  I don’t mean to.”

            I was surprised he was actually willing to admit that.  “Why are you doing it then?”

            “I’m leaving soon.”

            I flinched.  Even if he had the intention of coming back, those words always hurt.

            Sasuke made a frustrated noise that sounded completely alien coming from him.

            “Come sit,” I said, taking his hand.

            Sasuke let me lead him to the kitchen table.  I sat him down and went over to the stove to boil some water.

            “Don’t burn it,” he muttered half-heartedly.

            I reached up to pull a couple of mugs from the cupboards and set them near the stove.

            Sasuke was just sitting there quietly, watching me with that blank expression of his.

            “Things are starting to change,” I said, letting my eyes meet his.

            “Yeah, they are,” Sasuke agreed, and I could tell he was struggling to stay neutral.

            “Like we’ve been… I dunno, on a break?  A vacation?  And suddenly real life is starting up again.”

            Sasuke stared at me.

            “Do you get what I’m saying, or…?”

            “Did you have a point?”

            I scowled at him.

            “I didn’t mean it like that,” Sasuke said, looking chastened.

            “Then how did you mean it?” I asked, trying not to melt at how sweet and adorable and absolutely precious he was.

            “I mean… what do you want to say to me?  Just say it.”

            “Huh?” I said.

            “I won’t run away, okay?”

            “Good?”

            Sasuke glared at me.

            “What?” I complained.  I was starting to get lost.  What were we even talking about?

            “Fine, I guess it’s up to me as usual.  You’ve gotten your life back, Naruto.  You’re even going to get your arm back.  You’re the hero of the whole damn village.  You brought me back, and have inexplicably made me your willing subordinate, even though I am smarter, stronger, and better than you in every way.  You win, Naruto.  You win at life.  So you don’t need to waste your time bothering with me anymore.  You don’t have to-”

            “What the _fuck_ are you going on about?!” I asked, annoyed.  “I’ll waste my time however I want.”

            Sasuke stared at me blankly.

            “Why are you shutting me out?  Is this about you leaving?  I don’t get it, Sasuke, I really don’t get it.”

            “It’s fine, you don’t have to get it.  I’m going to move into my house.  I won’t bother you anymore.”

            “Sasuke…” I said, feeling the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.  “What are you saying?  I…”

            “It’s time to stop playing pretend and go back to our lives.”

            The tea kettle started to whistle shrilly behind me.

            I approached Sasuke, who was still sitting calmly at the table.  “No,” I said firmly.

            “No what?” Sasuke asked, still blank.

            “Look, you can do whatever.   If you want to live in your house, that’s cool.  I mean, who would want to sleep on my floor, anyway?  I’ll miss the fuck out of you living here, but I know you’re leaving soon, anyway…  But stop being stupid.  You’re my best friend and a whole lot of other stuff.  That’s not pretend.  I know it isn’t always perfect between us, but if you want me to say it clearly, then you’re one of the most important people in the world to me.”

            “The water’s boiling.”

            “Who cares, you stupid bastard?!” I snapped.

            Sasuke shrugged.  “It’s annoying.”

            “Then go turn it off yourself!”

            “Sure,” he said, standing up and going over to the stove.  He turned off the flame and started preparing the tea.

            “Sasuke…”

            “Sit.”

            I sat.

            Sasuke placed a mug in front of me and took his to the other side of the table.

            I took a drink and burned my tongue.  “Owwww!”

            “Idiot,” Sasuke said with a soft smile.

            I melted, all pain forgotten.

            Sasuke studied my face.  “I’m trying to make this easier on you.”

            “Make what easier?”

            “Ending this farce of a domestic arrangement.”

            “Are you breaking up with me?” I asked, gripping my mug a little too tightly, the heat of the tea burning my skin.

            “Are we dating?” Sasuke countered.

            I couldn’t answer that.

            “It’s easier this way.”

            I shook my head.  “No.”

            “Yes.”

            “No,” I said, starting to feel stubborn.

            “Yes,” Sasuke replied, his own stubbornness flaring up.

            We continued ‘yes’ing and ‘no’ing each other until it dissolved into insults.

            “I thought you were happy!” I finally snapped.

            “I was,” he said, reaching across the table and touching my hand.

            “Then what’s changed?”

            “Nothing’s changed,” Sasuke said.  “I still feel the same way.”

            “Then what are we arguing about?!”

            “Everything’s changed,” Sasuke said, and he couldn’t even hide that shit-eating grin of his.

            “Stop being a bastard,” I said, letting go of my mug so I could turn my hand around and lace my fingers with Sasuke’s.  “Did fighting make you feel better?”

            Sasuke gave a little nod.

            I squeezed his hand gently.

            “I’m still moving out,” he said.

            “Okay,” I said, because what else could I say?

            “And…”

            “And…?”

            Sasuke shook his head.  “Why can’t I let go of your hand?”

            “Why would you have to?”

            “You’re so dumb,” he said, looking away.

            “Sas’, I wanna know what’s going on.”

            “So do I.”

            We sat there quietly for a while, before Sasuke took his hand back to drink his tea.

            “I need to get painting,” he finally said, pushing his chair back.

            I hesitated.  “I need to put that shelf together?”

            Sasuke went to the door and pulled on his coat.  “Let’s go.”

            I forgot about how anxious I was and happily bounded after him.


	10. Chapter 10

            Since Sasuke had decided to move out from my apartment, I had decided to pretty much live at his house.

            “Why are you here?” Sasuke asked in annoyance as I showed up at his door for the third day in a row.

            “I thought you would be sad if you didn’t have anyone to cook dinner for.”

            “No, you were sad at the thought of going back to instant ramen.”

            “Ha, shows how little you know me,” I scoffed, elbowing my way inside.  “In fact, I brought you a housewarming gift,” I said, shoving an instant ramen into his hands.

            “I don’t need this!” Sasuke snapped, throwing the noodles to the floor.

            I was horrified.  I picked up the cup and cuddled it to my chest, petting and soothing it.  “He didn’t mean that,” I whispered to it.

            “You are out of your mind,” Sasuke said, stomping back to the kitchen, where he was clearly cooking for two.

            I stole a piece of cucumber off of the cutting board and started munching on it.

            “Did you even wash your hands?” he asked in disgust.

            “I’ll do it now,” I said, dashing my hands under the water.

            Sasuke gave me a look.

            I added soap.

            Sasuke went back to cooking.

            “Sas’, I have a pretty big S-rank from tomorrow,” I said, stealing another piece of cucumber.

            “Okay?”

            “So I won’t be here for dinner for a few days.”

            “Good.”

            “Quit being a turd,” I said, giving him a smack.

            “‘Turd’?” Sasuke repeated, looking incredulous.

            I grinned, intending to kiss the expression off of his face, but he pushed me away.

            “I’m cooking,” he said, watching me deflate.

            I shrugged, moving away to look at the cabinets.  Sasuke had installed them today.  I opened them, scrutinizing his carpentry skills.  Of course, like all of his skills except ‘not being an asshole’, they were perfect.  “Looks good,” I said, shutting the doors again.

            Sasuke gave me a small smile.

            I stole some more cucumber.

            “Stop,” Sasuke said, taking the cutting board away and dumping the cucumbers on top of the waiting salad.

            “I’m hungry,” I complained.  “I had to work with Team Gai today.”

            Sasuke snorted at that.

            “Yeah, laugh it up,” I said bitterly.  “It won’t be so funny when you’re the one running laps of enduring youth around Konoha.”

            “The difference between you and I is that I would never get dragged into that.”

            “You say that now, but you don’t know.  You _don’t_ know.”

            Sasuke started serving the rice, and put it on the table.  He brought over the salad as well.  “You start first,” he said, going over to stir the soup and check the nikujaga.

            “Sasuke!” I said dreamily, filling the word with as many hearts and exclamation points as I could.

            He gave me a funny look.

            I gobbled down my bowl of rice, and got up to dish out seconds.

            Sasuke dished out the rest of the food, and sat down across from me.  He ate like the prissy bitch he was, which reminded me of the undignified eating contests we used to have.

            I snickered.

            “What?” Sasuke asked, eyes narrowed.

            I told him, and he gave me a sad smile.  “Hey…”

            Sasuke shook his head.  “We were pretty dumb kids, huh?”

            “You’re including yourself in the dumb?”

            Sasuke shrugged.

            “What would you do if I challenge you to an eating contest right now?”

            “Ignore you.”

            “Yeah, ’cause clearly I’m already winning.”

            Sasuke rolled his eyes, but he was smiling his real smile now.

            “You’re gorgeous when you smile,” I said, which I definitely hadn’t meant to say aloud.

            Sasuke turned red.  Like, really red.  And he dropped his chopsticks.

            “What’s with that reaction?” I asked, probably just as red.  “People fawn all over you all the time.”

            “You don’t,” Sasuke said, picking up his chopsticks and taking them to the sink to rinse off.

            “Well I don’t wanna give you an even bigger head.”

            “Okay,” Sasuke said, staring down at his food as he resumed eating.

            “Do you have any plans tonight?” I blurted out.  I knew that Sasuke never had plans, except for the rare times lately when he met up with Sakura.

            “…no…” Sasuke said

            “Okay,” I said, raising my bowl to my lips and shoveling the food in.

            “Why?”

            “No reason.”

            We finished eating, and I volunteered to do the dishes out of the kindness of my heart.

            Sasuke sat at the table, sharpening his kunai and his sword.

            After I finished, I sat across from him.  “Sas’?”

            “Hm?”

            I mustered up my courage.  “We should have sex.”

            Sasuke put his sword down on the cloth he had spread over the table.  He considered it for a moment before letting go.

            “Look, I’m going on a very dangerous mission tomorrow, and I might die, so…”

            Sasuke gave me the look that exaggeration deserved.

            “Okay, but see,” I tried again, “all your rejecting me lately will distract me on the mission and make me be careless.  So…”

            “I’m not interested.”

            “You don’t want me even a little?”

            “…no…”

            “You hesitated!”

            “Naruto, you know how I feel about you-”

            “No, no, no, enough with that,” I said, waving my arms around wildly.  “You always say that I know how you feel, but you never say how you actually feel.”  
            “What, are we females now, that we always need to talk about our feelings?”

            “Sakura talks about colonoscopies and the best way to break a human skull, so I don’t know what you’re trying to get at there, Mr. Misogynist.”

            “She does not.”

            “Ha, you have no idea what Sakura and I talk about sometimes.”

            “Well all she talks about with me is you.”

            “Really?” I asked, perking up.

            “You are so oblivious.”

            “Oblivious to what?”

            “Everything.”

            “Sasukeeeee.”

            “Fine.”

            “Fine what?” I asked, confused.

            “You wanna fuck, let’s go.”

            “Are you serious?!”

            “Clearly it’s all you want from me.”

            “Sasuke, don’t say that,” I said, frowning.  “I don’t mean to make it sound like that.  It’s just… I don’t get how you don’t feel the same way.  I look at you and I’m like so overwhelmed, and I just want to show you how much you mean to me.”

            “A nice card would suffice.”

            “Sasukeeeeee.”

            “Narutooo.”

            I sighed.  “So never?”

            Sasuke shifted uncomfortably.

            “Just tell me that I straight up have no chance in hell, and I won’t ask again.”

            “Ha,” Sasuke said.

            “I’m serious.  This is my last stand.  We’ve been dancing around this for months, and I want to stop feeling so stupid.”

            “Why do you feel stupid?” Sasuke asked.

            “Because,” I said.  “You flirt with me, you kiss the hell out of me, and then when I try to take things further you act like you’re disgusted by it.”

            “I’m not disgusted by it,” Sasuke said, picking up one of his kunai and sliding it along his sharpening stone.

            His hands were shaking.

            “Just give me a clear answer, please?”

            “Okay, and what if I say no?” Sasuke asked.

            “Then I won’t ask again.”

            “And everything else?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Is our relationship going to change?”

            “Huh?” I said.  “Why would it?”

            “You don’t really take rejection well.”

            “I take rejection awesome!”

            “Okay…”

            “Sasuke, okay, yes, I’ll feel disappointed.  But you’re still you, and I’m still me, and nothing can change that.  I wouldn’t treat you any differently, though I would try my best to stop sexually harassing you.”

            “Would you stop kissing me?”

            “If… that’s what you wanted…”

            “Would you stop touching me?  Holding my hand?”

            “Is that what you want?”

            “I’m asking you a question, don’t answer it with another question.”

            “You’re the one answering a question with questions!”

            “Hn.”

            “Okay, I’m sorry I asked,” I said, shaking my head.  “I wish you would just say it clearly, but I’ll read between the lines for you, okay?”

            “I didn’t say no.”

            “I wish you just would.”

            “Let’s go to my room,” Sasuke said, dropping his kunai on the table as he stood.

            “Why?” I asked.  “I thought you finished all the work in there.”

            “I did.”

            “Did you want me to check something?”

            “Yes, Naruto,” Sasuke said, looking at me like I was very slow.  “I want you check something,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it at me.

            I gaped at him, letting his shirt hang off the side of my head.

            “Are you coming?” he asked.

            I continued to gape.

            “That was a yes, if you didn’t understand,” Sasuke said, frowning at me.

            “Oh, uh,” I said.  “I didn’t… uh… I mean, right now?”

            “Yes, right fucking now,” Sasuke said, suddenly leaving the room.

            I got up and stumbled after him.  I found his pants in the hallway.  My heart was trying to break out of my chest.  “Holy shit,” I muttered to myself.  I took a deep breath and stepped into Sasuke’s room.

            He was sitting on the edge of the bed, only wearing his tiny little boxer briefs.

            I had seen Sasuke completely naked at the baths plenty of times, but this was much more enticing.

            “You’re overdressed,” he said.

            “O-oh…” I stuttered, hands quickly moving to my shirt, trying to pull it over my head and failing.

            Sasuke laughed softly, making me even more flustered.  Then I felt his hand helping me, pulling the shirt off and dropping it to the floor.  “You’re really nervous, huh?”

            “You’re not?!” I asked.

            Sasuke just smirked at me, reaching for my waistband and easing it over my hips.  There was nothing sexual about it, though.  It was like completing a business transaction.  “Can you figure out the rest on your own?”

            I nodded frantically, trying to kick my pants off and failing yet again.

            Sasuke shook his head and sat back down on the bed.

            I finally got my pants off, feeling a little triumphant despite how stupid I was sure I looked.

            Sasuke didn’t care.  He knew how stupid I was better than anyone, and I dare say he liked it.

            “I did it,” I said proudly.

            “Moron, come here.”

            I grinned and sat next to him.

            Sasuke directed my chin towards him and kissed me.

            This part was easy and familiar.  There was just the added excitement of being half-naked that was making it hard for me to hold myself back.  Things worked better for us when we were equals: lying side-by-side instead of someone on top, kisses where we sparred for dominance, letting the other win sometimes, and both of us just in general being into what we were doing.

            Things went bad when I got aggressive, or when Sasuke got disinterested.

            So I had to stay focused and not tackle Sasuke to the bed like I wanted to start ravaging him.

            When the kisses got a little deeper, I found us naturally sinking down to the mattress.  I touched Sasuke’s bare skin, reveling in the feel of the rough scars crisscrossing everywhere.  He had the body of a warrior, and I loved every inch of it.

            Sasuke’s hand settled at the back of my neck, fingers massaging through my hair.

            “This is okay?” I asked, pulling back to take a breath.

            “Yeah, it’s good,” Sasuke said, pulling me back in.

            I let my hand wander as we kissed, sliding up his back and over the strong muscles of his shoulders.  Sasuke didn’t seem adverse.  I started nudging a leg between his, letting our bodies press together more tightly.  Then I decided it was time to fulfill my long-cherished wish.  I let my hand slide down Sasuke’s back, hesitating only for a second before going straight for the butt and grabbing a handful.

            “You are so dumb,” Sasuke murmured against my lips.

            “And you have a great ass,” I said, smooching him.

            Sasuke made a face at me, so I grabbed his lower lip with my teeth and tugged.  That never failed to get him riled up, and we were suddenly kissing at double-time.

            I couldn’t help the shallow movements of my hips against Sasuke.

            But for once, he didn’t stop me.

            I pulled back, taking a breath and stopping myself.  “Is this really okay?”

            “Yeah.”

            “This is usually where you tell me I’m weird and kick me to the floor.”

            “Today is special.”

            I groped his butt again, partly as a test, but mostly because I enjoyed doing it.

            Sasuke squirmed, then kissed a trail from my cheek to my mouth.

            My hand slid from his lovely butt cheek to his thigh, hitching it up over my hip.  I pressed into him, feeling relief from the contact.  I rubbed his thigh almost mechanically, my hips starting to really move now.

            Sasuke swallowed.

            I kissed his nose.  “Feels good.”

            Sasuke’s fingers tightened in my hair.

            I didn’t exactly have a plan for what ‘sex’ entailed, but I figured anything where Sasuke was comfortable and I was getting off was a win, and I seemed to be on my way to a great victory at the moment.

            “Sasuke,” I groaned in between wet, open-mouthed kissed.  “Shit, Sas’, baby, shit…”

            “Who the fuck are you calling ‘baby’? Sasuke muttered, before taking control of the kiss and making it less sloppy.

            I grinned, wanting to say it again just to piss him off, but my mouth was too distracted.

            “Come on, Naruto,” Sasuke murmured between kisses.  “Come on.”

            I was moving against him more and more frantically.  It was building up into a frenzy, and suddenly it was over.

            Sasuke breathed out a long breath.

            My body was trembling, and I held onto Sasuke tightly.

            “Okay?” Sasuke asked quietly.

            “Very okay,” I said.  “Very more than okay.”

            “Good,” he said, kissing my forehead and pushing me away.

            “Hey,” I protested, immediately missing his body.

            “You’re sticky and gross,” he informed me.

            “What about you?” I asked, and as I thought more about it, it didn’t seem like Sasuke had gotten off at all.

            “Not sticky and gross,” he said.

            I was starting to feel less good.  I tried to sit up, but my limbs were like jello.  “Sas’, was that okay?”

            “Yeah, it was fine.”

            “Did you enjoy it?”

            “I don’t know, I could do without the grunting and the thrusting.  And the mess.”

            I stared at him.

            “What?”

            “I don’t understand you,” was all I could come up with to say.  I was starting to feel very vulnerable all of the sudden.

            “What’s there to understand?” Sasuke asked, rifling through his closet, which contained about five items.  He pulled a t-shirt off of a hanger and put it on.

            I chewed on my bottom lip.  I was starting to feel cold and used up.  “Can we cuddle?” I asked quietly.

            “Not if you’re not going to clean up.”

            “I could really use a hug,” I said, casting my eyes up at him.

            Sasuke rolled his eyes.  “Why are you so damn needy?”

            I held out my arm to him, and Sasuke begrudgingly returned the hug, though he kept our bodies as far apart as possible.  “Thanks,” I said, but I didn’t feel any better.  “I’m gonna go home now.”

            “Okay,” Sasuke said.  “You don’t want to shower first?”

            “No,” I said, getting up and picking my clothes up off of the floor.  I quickly got dressed, ignoring how gross I felt underneath.  “I have to get up early for my mission, so…”

            Sasuke walked with me to the door.

            “See ya when I get back,” I said.

            “Yeah,” Sasuke said.  “Naruto?”

            “Mm?”

            “I… uh… be safe.”

            I smiled.  “Yeah, of course.”

            I felt the smile drop as soon as I was out the door.  I headed home with a heaviness in my heart.


	11. Chapter 11

            Sasuke and Sakura were talking quietly, away from everyone else in the restaurant.  I watched them, a strange feeling building up inside of me.

            ‘Jealousy,’ Kurama whispered helpfully.

            ‘Shut up,’ I growled at him.

            Kurama just laughed.

            “Something wrong, Naruto-kun?” Hinata asked softly.

            “Huh?” I said.  “Nah, everything’s great, never better!”

            I bolstered myself up, aiming to make myself the life of the party again.  For some reason, though, Hinata didn’t look convinced.

            After all the food had been eaten and the party was winding down, Sasuke and Sakura finally rejoined the group.

            “What were you two talking about?” I whispered to Sakura.

            “I don’t know, we were just talking,” Sakura said with a shrug.

            “Ooooh, was it lovey-dovey stuff?” I asked, grinning even if it didn’t reach my eyes.

            “Shut up!” Sakura snapped, punching me in the arm.

            “Owwwwww!”

            “Naruto, stop bothering Sakura,” Sasuke deadpanned, and everyone laughed.

            It all should have made me happy.  Sakura and Sasuke seemed to have fixed whatever was wrong.  All our old classmates were slowly starting to accept Sasuke.  Things were going back to ‘normal’.  It was great.

            ‘Jealousy,’ Kurama repeated.

            ‘Go back to sleep or something, you annoying fox!’

            I tried to tune Kurama out, but it was hard.

            “Nar’,” Sasuke said softly, close to my ear.

            I jumped.

            Sasuke snorted.

            “What do you want?!”

            “Walk home with me?”

            I blinked slowly.  “What, you afraid to walk home alone so late at night?”

            “No, I want to talk to you.”

            “Then talk to me?”

            “Alone.”

            “Sounds serious.”

            Sasuke gave me a _look_.

            “Fine, whatever, yeah.”

            After we had settled the bill and all said our goodbyes, Sasuke and I headed off towards his house.

            “So what was so important?” I asked.

            “My probation ends next week.  I want to leave right away.”

            “Oh.”

            “That’s it?  ‘Oh’?”

            “What else do you want me to say?”

            Sasuke hesitated.  “You said nothing would change.”

            “What are you talking about now?” I asked, but I knew.

            Sasuke turned to frown at me.  “Why can’t you just act like how you always act?”

            “What, am I supposed to beg you to stay?”

            “At least that would be in character for you.”

            “Oh, Sasuke, please do not leave and go on your stupid journey of self-discovery.  Stay in Konoha, where you can be mean to me every day and remind me how stupid I am in case I forget.”

            “That wasn’t very convincing.”

            I sighed.  “I’ll miss you,” I said quietly.

            “I’ll miss you, too,” Sasuke said, his tone gentle and sincere.  “Come inside for tea.”

            I realized we had reached Sasuke’s house.  “Okay.”

            We went in, and Sasuke started boiling the water.

            “I’ll meet with the Elders on Wednesday, and then I plan to leave on Thursday morning,” Sasuke explained.

            “That’s… soon…”

            “Yeah.”

            I slouched against the table, watching as Sasuke poured the tea.

            “Sas’, I want to settle things before you go.”

            “Now?  Where would we even have a fight like that?”

            “Not a…” I started to say, and I had to laugh.  “Not a fight.  Not yet.  I mean, we need to learn how to use our new arms, first.”

            “I won’t be getting one.”

            “Huh?  No, Baa-chan said she was making one for each of us.”

            “I won’t be accepting it.”

            “Is this some kind of challenge…?  Like, look at me, I’m a better ninja than you with only one arm?”

            “No.”

            “Okay, well, I don’t get it.  Why wouldn’t you want a brand new arm?  I mean, you were so happy when we found out about them…”

            “I was happy that some higher being had seen fit to rectify my mistake,” Sasuke said.  “That’s all.”

            “Is this part of your journey of self-discovery?  ’Cause I really don’t get it.”

            “You don’t have to,” Sasuke replied.  “I’ve already adjusted to only having one arm.  And I don’t need Senju cells in my body.”

           “You’re such an Uchiha,” I said, rolling my eyes.  “But, hey, come on.  I don’t want that advantage over you.  Then I’ll totally win every fight.”

            “Keep thinking that, Uzumaki.”

            “It’s true,” I said with a shrug.

            “It’s not quantity, it’s quality,” Sasuke said.  “A concept you and your kage bunshin have clearly never grasped.”

            “My kage bunshin are awesome!”

            “Hm,” Sasuke said, sipping his tea.

            “I feel like we’ve gotten off topic…”

            “And what was the topic supposed to be?”

            “I want to settle things.”

            “Okay, if you don’t want to fight, then what exactly is it that you want to settle?”

            “Our relationship.”

            “That’s vague.”

            I pushed my tea aside, untouched.  “Sasuke, I need to know how you feel about me.”

            “Why?”

            “Because I said so.  Why do you have to question everything I say?”

            “Because you say a lot of dumb things.”

            I scowled at him.  “Stop trying to pick a fight.  I want to know where we stand.”

            “You tell me.”

            “I don’t know.”

            “Well, I don’t know either.”

            I watched him drink his tea.  “Are you in love with me?” I finally asked.

            Sasuke almost dropped the cup.  A bit of tea sloshed over the top, spilling onto the table.  He turned to me, furious.  “Don’t you dare ask me that.”

            “Why not?”

            Sasuke gave me that awful, helpless look of his that I so rarely saw, but that always broke my heart.

            “Sas’, I need to know.”

            “Then why don’t you say how you feel about me?”

            “Sure.  You’re my best friend and my rival and you’re my freaking soulmate with your weird Indra chakra.  You make me so angry all the time, and you make me laugh and smile and cry, and you make me alive.  When you’re not near me, even if we’re in the same stupid room, I feel like something is missing, and it’s never right until you’re at my side.  You’re the Sasuke to my Naruto, and I think that says it all.”

            “It doesn’t say anything,” Sasuke said, but I could tell he was getting emotional.

            “Can I wait for you?” I asked.

            “Wait for me as what?”

            “As your… as your… you know…”

            We stared at each other.

            Finally, I got up and went over to Sasuke, bending down to kiss him soundly.

            Sasuke clung to me, kissing me back with a desperation I’d never seen in him before.

            I couldn’t take it anymore.  I picked him up one-armed out of the chair.

            Sasuke’s muscular legs wrapped around me, and I carried him straight to his bedroom.

            I wasn’t clumsy or nervous this time, sitting Sasuke on the bed and taking off his shirt.  I pushed him back, tugging off my own shirt before climbing on top of him.  I just _wanted_ and I was going to have.

            Sasuke’s hand gripped my shoulder as I moved my lips over his body, kissing everywhere I could.

            I pushed his legs more open so I could slide in flush against him.

            Sasuke made a noise that I took as encouragement.

            I pushed against him a few times, then went for the button of his pants, undoing them.  I slid down his body, suddenly wanting nothing more than to touch Sasuke’s dick and make him feel good.  I pulled off his boxers with his pants, struggling to get them over his feet.

            Then I looked at Sasuke, naked and underneath me.  He was more gorgeous than I remembered.

            He looked nervous, which was good, because I didn’t understand where all his confidence came from sometimes.

            Then I realized something very important.

            Sasuke’s very lovely penis was completely flaccid.

            I became even more determined to make him feel good.  I grasped it in my hand, not really thinking as I brought my mouth towards it.  The amount I knew about sex could probably be written on a small post-it note with room to spare.  The only thing I did know was that I really wanted to put my mouth on Sasuke.

            I licked the tip, and Sasuke shuddered.  I started to feel more confident, stroking the based as I put him in my mouth.

            “No,” Sasuke said.  “No, no, no no nonononono STOP!”

            I let go of him immediately, staring up at his pale and terrified-looking face in confusion.  “What?  What?  What’s wrong?”

            “I can’t do this,” he said, shaking his head.  “I thought I could, but I can’t, I just can’t, please stop.”

            “I… was I doing it wrong?” I asked, suddenly feeling completely miserable.

            “No, it’s not you…”

            “How is it not me?”

            “Naruto, I just don’t like this kind of stuff.”

            “So you’re straight?”

            “No.”

            “I don’t understand, Sasuke,” I said, moving farther away from him and sitting on the floor.

            Sasuke pulled the blanket from the bed and covered himself, looking small and fragile.  “I’m sorry.”

            “What are you apologizing for?!”

            “I should have just stayed quiet and let you done it.”

            “What the hell?!  I’m not a rapist!”

            “Naruto,” Sasuke said, and there was that damn helpless expression again.  “Please, I’m sorry.  Don’t… don’t take this the wrong way.”

            “I get it okay,” I said, grabbing my shirt and putting it on hastily.  “You’re not attracted to me the way I’m attracted to you.  Fine.  But you should have fucking said something, instead of letting me carry on like an idiot.”

            “You don’t understand!”

            “Obviously,” I said.  I was so hurt and embarrassed, I just wanted to leave.  I made my way to the door.

            “Naruto!  Please don’t go!”

            “Why should I stay?!” I snapped, turning to glare at him.

            Sasuke was crying.  Uchiha Sasuke was crying.  I could count the number of times I had seen him cry on my one hand and still have fingers left over to count something else.

            “What am I supposed to do?” I said, suddenly feeling like the helpless one.

            “Don’t go…” Sasuke whispered, his voice clear despite the tears streaming down his cheeks.

            “This is emotional blackmail,” I muttered, coming back into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed.

            Neither of us said a word.

            Sasuke got himself under control, scrubbing at his eyes to erase any sign that he was actually a functioning, emotional human being.

            “Let’s make this our goodbye,” Sasuke finally said.

            “What do you mean?” I asked uneasily.

            “Goodbye to this… whatever it is,” Sasuke said, reaching out and touching my hand.  “Stay here tonight, and from tomorrow we’ll just be friends again, okay?”

            He looked so uncertain.

            “Okay,” I said, even though it hurt so bad that I could hardly breathe.  I didn’t even know what ‘this’ was, but letting it go broke my heart.

            Sasuke continued to look at me uncertainly.

            “How do we say goodbye?” I asked quietly.

            Sasuke shrugged, looking down.

            I thought about for a moment, then got up and got Sasuke’s boxers.  “Here,” I said.  “Get ready for bed.”

            Sasuke hesitated, then took the boxers from my hand.  He got out from under the blanket and put them on, then moved to the bathroom.

            I joined him, and he gave me an extra toothbrush to brush my teeth with.

            Sasuke pushed his hair back from his eyes with his girly headband and washed his face.  I laughed at him and told him he looked like a chick.  He got mad and splashed me with water.

            We both relaxed.

            We went back to Sasuke’s room and climbed into bed together.

            Sasuke offered his arm to me, and I snuggled into his chest, holding him close.

            “You made me really happy,” Sasuke murmured into my hair.  “Thank you.”

            I squeezed him tighter, trying not to be the next one to cry.  I thought about saying those three words, but it didn’t seem right.  It was already over, so there was no reason to complicate things with words I felt like I barely even understood.

            We shared a few kisses, long and lingering.  It always felt so good to kiss Sasuke, but this time it was bittersweet.

            Sasuke yawned into one kiss, making me laugh.

            “Let’s sleep,” I said.

            “Not yet,” Sasuke said, kissing me again.  “Just a little longer.”

            I woke up in an empty bed.  I felt cold.

            “Good morning,” Sasuke said as I came up behind him in the kitchen.

            “Mornin’,” I said, yawning and scratching my stomach.  I glanced briefly as his very shapely butt, squeezed into those tiny boxer briefs, then told myself, ‘no, not anymore.’  “Whacha making?”

            “Pancakes.”

            “Yum, I thought you hated sweet things?”

            “I made them more savory.”

            “Well, whatever floats your boat.  Feed me, I’m starving.”

            “You ate enough at the party last night to last a lifetime.”

            “I did not…”

            “You out-ate Chouji.”

            “I was hungry…  As I am now.”

            “Yeah, yeah, here,” Sasuke said, flipping two pancakes on a plate for me.

            “Thanks, bastard!” I said, happily taking them to the table.

            We ate breakfast together, and everything was perfectly normal.  We bantered and bickered, and it felt good.

            As I got ready to leave, I sensed Sasuke hesitating.

            “Naruto?”

            “Yeah?” I asked, fixing my sandals on my feet.

            “I’ll be… really busy this week.  I don’t think I’ll see you again… until I come back.”

            “Oh,” I said.  “Well, okay then.”

            We were both being so fake and dumb and I hated it, but it was the only thing we could do to not break down completely.

            “Be safe, Sasuke,” I said, standing in the open door.  “We’ll all be waiting for you.”

            “Yeah,” Sasuke said.

            We stared at each other, both full of words that couldn’t come out.

            “See ya,” I said, turning around abruptly.

            “Bye.”

            And then it was over.


	12. Chapter 12

            Missions kept me busy during Sasuke’s last week.  I caught a glimpse of him once in the market, but I didn’t call out to him.  It didn’t seem right.

            “Sasuke’s planning to leave tomorrow,” Sakura told me as we sat side-by-side at Ichiraku.  “I want to talk to him one last time.”

            “He’s not going to change his mind,” I said.

            “I know,” Sakura said, smiling sadly.  “I just need to try.”

            I slurped my ramen.

            “You should come, too.”

            “I’ve said everything I need to say to that bastard.”

            “You’re not going to see him off?”

            “No, we already said goodbye.”

            “Naruto, you’re being dumb.”

            “And now you sound just like Sasuke!  And he keeps punching me like you!  What’s up with that?!”

            Sakura grinned, a reddish tinge tinting her cheeks.

            ‘Jealoussssy,’ Kurama said in my head, cackling.

            “Anyway, it’s not like he’s leaving forever,” I said.  “He’s coming back.  He has a house and shit.”

            “Yeah, I guess so,” Sakura agreed, even if she didn’t sound so convinced.  “But are you sure you’ve settled everything between the two of you?”

            As she spoke, an image suddenly came into my mind.  “I gotta go,” I said, standing up hastily.  I tossed out some coins from my wallet and took off.

            “Hey, Naruto!” Sakura called after me, but I had no intention of stopping.

            Where had I put that damn thing?!

            At first it had been on my dresser, but looking at it every day had made me sad.  I’d moved it around my room to different spots.  If it became too invisible, like in the back of the closet, I felt like I was giving up on Sasuke.  But if I had to always see it, it was like a constant ache in my heart.

            I’d moved it around so much, and then so much had happened, that I had no idea where it had ended up.

            I tore my apartment apart looking for it.

            Morning greeted me with bleary eyes.  I got dressed and ready mechanically.  I had a clean-up Konoha mission that day, but I needed to get to the gates first.

            “Good morning, Naruto!” the gatekeeper greeted me.

            “Did Sasuke leave yet?!” I asked desperately.

            “No, not yet.”

            “Okay, thanks,” I said, passing through the gate and walking around aimlessly to calm my nerves.

            I slowly realized that I was acting crazy, and decided to play it cool, leaning against a tree.

            “I didn’t think you’d come.”

            I looked up to see Sasuke approaching.

            His eyes glanced down, locking onto what was in my hand in surprise.

            “You still have that?”

            I grinned, holding it out to him.

            Sasuke reached out to accept it.

            “I’m returning this,” I said, passing the hitai-ate to him.

            “I’ll hold onto it until we finally settle things between us.”

            We both grinned.

            “Goodbye, Naruto.”

            “Goodbye, Sasuke.”

            I stayed in the woods, watching his retreating back until he disappeared.  When he was gone, I headed back towards the gate.  Today was just another workday.

            I ignored the twinge in my heart, and went back to Konoha.


	13. Epilogue

            Sasuke was sitting on a rock by the river, eyes fixed forward as I approached.

            “Sasukeeee!” I called, skipping over to him.

            Sasuke ignored me.

            I went in for a noogie, only to find air.

            “Moron.”

            “Stay still and let me greet you properly.”

            “No, now sit down.”

            I sat next to him.  “Sooo, what’ve you got?”

            Sasuke ran down the intel that he had gathered.

            We talked for a while.  I usually lingered with him after we talked business, but Hinata was pregnant and hormonal, and I didn’t want to leave her at home by herself for too long.  Last time I left, she knitted me and the baby matching onesies.  “Thanks for meeting me, Sas’, but I gotta go.”

            “Wait.”

            “Hm?” I paused, standing over him.

            “I have to talk to you about something else.”

            “You look all serious,” I said grinning at him.  “What’s up?”

            “Sakura’s pregnant.”

            I probably was making a crazy face.

            Sasuke sighed loudly.

            “Look, I know you two are married now, but…”

            “We didn’t have sex.”

            My face probably got even crazier.  “Even I know about the birds and the bees, Sasuke.  You gotta,” I said, jamming two fingers into the circle of fingers on my other hand, “to make a baby.”

            “Wow, Naruto, did you figure that out on your own?” Sasuke asked, giving me an annoyed look.

            “You’re the one trying to convince me about your immaculate conception.”

            “Have you been reading the dictionary I bought you?”

            “Yeah, actually.  I like to freak Shikamaru out by using some ridiculous word randomly.”

            “Glad it’s been put to good use.”

            I sat down next to him again, punching him in the shoulder.  “Shit, Sas’, we’re both gonna be dads.  It’s like we’re adults or something.”

            “That’s all you have to say?” Sasuke asked, sounding tired.

            “Whaddya mean?” I asked, but I realized that I was feeling really strange.  I couldn’t put it into words, but something wasn’t right.

            “Naruto, I was being serious, we didn’t have sex,” Sasuke said.

            I glanced down and realized he was holding onto my sleeve, tugging it lightly.  “So it’s not… your baby?” I asked slowly.

            “It’s my sperm,” Sasuke explained.  “But it was put into a test tube.”

            I knew without a doubt that I was making the craziest face possible.

            “Sakura and I agreed that we wanted to have a child,” Sasuke said, glaring at me but continuing anyway.  “But I couldn’t… I can’t have sex.”

            This was bringing up some memories I would rather not think of.  “Sasuke, that’s fucking weird,” I informed him.  “Well, congratulations on your test tube baby.  If that’s everything…?”

            “I just want you to understand,” Sasuke said, suddenly looking vulnerable.  “Could you try listening to me for once?”

            “No, Sasuke, I don’t want to listen to you!” I snapped.  Why was I angry?

            “Well, fuck you, I’m telling you anyway,” Sasuke snarled.

            “I don’t care!”

            “Yes, you do!”

            “I don’t!”

            “You do!”

            “Nuh-uh!”

            “Moron!”

            “Bastard!”

            “Shit-for-brains!”

            “Asshole!”

            “Enough, god!”

            I glowered at Sasuke.

            He tried to glower back, but just looked sad.

            “I’m sorry,” I said quietly, reaching for him and then thinking better of it.  “I’ll listen.”

            “Thanks,” was all Sasuke said, staring ahead at the river.

            I had to resist the urge to touch him.  It hadn’t been this bad in a while.  We had been perfectly comfortable as friends over the last few years.  Now there he was, looking all sad and pathetic, and instead of wanting to laugh and lord it over him, all I wanted to do was hold him close and try to take the pain away.

            Maybe that was how some friends were, but it wasn’t how we were.

            “Naruto, can you not tell me I’m weird and freak for a second?”

            “Yeah,” I said, swallowing.

            “I don’t like sex.  I think it’s disgusting.”

            “Yeah, but-”

            “I said not to say anything.”

            “No, you said not to call you weird or whatever.  I was just going to say that sex is awesome.”

            “I don’t care.  Shut up.”

            “Hmph.”

            “Why am I even bothering to tell you this?  You know what, forget it.”

            “Don’t be a bitch, Sas’.”

            “Die in a fire.”

            “ _You_ die in a fire.”

            “I really hate you sometimes.”

            “Good to know,” I muttered, rising to my feet again.

            “But I love you, too.”

            I froze.

            All those years of not saying it.  All those perfectly good years of avoiding it.  Now he had to go and ruin everything.

            Sasuke stood up next to me, eyes staring into mine.  “I should have told you.  I’m sorry I didn’t.”

            “I don’t understand why you feel like you need to say it now.”

            “I just want you to know that what we had was real, and it was important, and I’m sorry I ruined it.”

            “We’re both married now, we have kids on the way…”

            “I’m not suggesting you leave your pregnant wife for me, idiot.  I just don’t want you to feel a certain kind of way about me and Sakura.”

            “What kind of way is that?”

            “Like I gave her something that I didn’t give you.”

            I stared at him, trying to sort out my feelings.  “I loved you, too, bastard,” I finally said.  “I was too scared to say it, but I loved you so much.  Well, I still do, it’s just different now.”

            “I know,” Sasuke said, looking sad and knowing.  “I’m glad you found Hinata.  She’s good for you.”

            “You think so?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

            “Yeah, I do,” Sasuke said.  “She’s calm and gentle, she balances you out.”

            “So you’re not like wicked jealous every time you see us together?” I asked gleefully.

            “No,” Sasuke said, giving me an annoyed look.  Then he hesitated.  “But sometimes… I just wonder would could have been…”

            I nodded slowly.  “I always thought I drove you away.  I thought I was too pushy…”

            “You were too pushy,” Sasuke muttered.

            I stuck out my lower lip.

            “But it wasn’t your fault,” Sasuke said.

            “So it was yours all along?”

            “No, jackass, it wasn’t mine either,” Sasuke growled.  “It was just that neither of us understood my sexuality.”

            “Homosexuality?”

            Sasuke smacked me upside the head.  “I’m asexual, you moron.”

            “You’re what in the who now?”

            “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone,” Sasuke ground out.  “Look it up in your damn dictionary.”

            I pulled the dictionary out of my pocket.  “Okay, start’s with ‘a’…”

            Sasuke rolled his eyes.  “I think we’re done here.”

            “Ah-ha!  Asexual!  Not involving the fusion of g-gam… gametes?  Huh?”

            “I’m leaving, dobe.”

            “No, wait, I don’t get this.  What’s a gambit?”

            “That is not even the word you just said.”

            “Well, whatever, oh, hey, the next definition says, ‘without sexual feelings or associations’,” I read.

            “Goodbye, Naruto.”

            “Sasukeeee,” I whined, catching his arm.

            “What?”

            “Thanks for telling me,” I said quietly.

            Sasuke shrugged.

            “I’m sorry I never tried to understand you.”

            “It’s all in the past.”

            “Yeah, but…  I dunno.  Sometimes I wonder what could have been, too.”

            “It doesn’t matter.  I’m happy with what we have now.”

            I grinned at him.

            Sasuke grinned back.

            “Congratulations,” I finally said, slugging him in the arm.  “You and Sakura are gonna have a kid.  That’s so awesome!  But obviously my kid will be stronger.”

            “Like an Uzumaki has ever bested an Uchiha.”

            “Uh, yeah, so have.”

            “Not possible.”

            “Bastard, I have kicked your ass on multiple occasions!”

            “Don’t cry too much when my kid becomes Hokage.”

            “Bastarddddd!”

            Sasuke laughed, smiling that genuine smile of his that always turned me into a puddle of sap.  “Goodbye, Naruto.”

            I smiled back, feeling lighter than I had in a long time.  “Until next time.”

            “Until next time.”

            Sasuke disappeared into the trees.


End file.
